


Not according to plan

by Seastar_Genna



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bullying, Freeform, Homophobia, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Murder, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Harassment, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Undercover, Violence, rivarmin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:45:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seastar_Genna/pseuds/Seastar_Genna
Summary: Armin and Levi are pretending to be an adorable married couple, since they are on an undercover mission in Mare. Though it's hard to play a married couple and not fall for it yourself, at least it is for Armin, next to his feelings he also has to deal with playing his role as a woman, which involves batting away young men and tea parties with other married women.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first in a very long time since I've posted a fanfic! I hope I'm not too much out of practice, on top of that I've never written these charas before, so I apologize in advance for awkward ooc'ness. 
> 
> *Spoilers!!! For the folks who only follow the anime!!
> 
> This little story follows the manga up until the point where they discover all about Mare from the journals. Despite that I treat canon loosely, that way I can mold it into the story I've thought up for my fav characters. I just love rivarmin! And if you do too, I hope you'll enjoy this humble fanfic of them~~ 
> 
> This fic will be updated every two weeks :)

The smell of burning wood traveled through the house while the flames in the hearth crackled and sizzled. Armin could feel the warmth of those flames touching his face, as he waited patiently, seated on a chair near the fireplace. His fingers kept pulling on the fabric of his pink dress, the skirt was long but he still felt exposed and wanted to pull it down. After a few months he still hadn't gotten used to womenswear.

Womenswear. Really? When he had thought of his 'incredible' plan womenswear wasn't a part of it. Others had added that bit. Though honestly there were some holes in his original idea and those others had filled them, yet he felt some of the adjustments were quite unnecessary.

“Clara? I'm home sweetheart,” _his_ voice, Armin sat up straighter as he heard footsteps, “I brought Rob for a drink.” The same voice said, just as Armin had noticed the sound of the second pair of feet. Armin took a deep breath before standing up, quickly patting his dress down before turning to the men who had just entered the room, “welcome home, dear!” He said, trying not to sound uncomfortable, and fortunately practice does make.. better at least.

He had gotten better at it.

'It' being; pretending to be a woman, 'Clara', an obedient housewife of average intelligence and trying not to look suspicious or attract any type of unnecessary attention. Another thing he had to pretend was to be madly in love with Clara's husband 'Jack', played by no other than his Captain Levi Ackerman, Clara and Jack had recently eloped and they were still newlyweds.

Armin had discovered that pretending to be in love with Levi wasn't the hard part, at all. With that thought tinting his cheeks slightly pink, he walked up towards the men, “let me pour you both a glass. Do make yourself comfortable Rob.”

Rob, a middle aged, bearded man, walked towards their living room's sofa after a friendly greeting. Armin moved closer to Levi and kissed his cheek as an awkward welcome home greeting, to which Levi turned his face to let his lips slip against his. Just plain and innocent, and fake.

“Everything alright?” The blonde whispered against Levi's lips.

“Everything is fine,” he softly breathed back at him before they heard a hearty chuckle.

“Still in that sweet phase, huh?” Their visitor said from his seat near the fireplace, “just wait till you've been married as long as I have. A romantic dream turned into a nightmare.”

Levi let out a humorous laugh, as he also made his way to the fire, “I can't imagine that happening to me and Clara.” He said, his voice sounding like that of a naive young man in love, Armin still had trouble believing how well his Captain pulled his character off. Jack's persona was pretty much the opposite of Levi himself; gullible, a follower and always wanting to please others.

But naturally he was doing a good acting job, since both their lives depended on their acting skills.

Armin's plan had been a dangerous one. In his version he would have gone undercover inbetween the enemies their walls, into Mare, and find out critical information about them. He would've gone alone, dressed as a beggar depending solely on his skill of looking dull and being practically invisible, like a fly on the wall, then dissapear as quietly as he had appeared, armed with anything which could help them take the enemy down.

Thinking back on it know, it was almost embarrassing how childish that plan had sounded, born only from his need to be useful now that he had to prove the price for his life had been worth it. He had to prove himself, mostly _to_ himself.

However others had seen some potential in it after all. Hange and Levi had adjusted that plan quite a bit. At first they wanted to send Levi with Mikasa, but Armin had been adement that he should go instead or at least join them. He convinced them somehow. But going in alone as a single, young man was out of the question, so a young married couple went in instead, distracting people from any mistakes they might make in the surroundings of a different culture with their adorable love story. It actually worked. Yet the new plan wasn't any less dangerous.

“How did you get a pretty, tight thing like that, Jack? They usually don't go for the short ones.” Rob said laughing, as if he and Jack were age long friends. Armin dutifully served them their scotch without taking insult at being called a thing.

Rob the Mill was a guy with connections, he knew important people and worked for the government, a guy they needed.

“Had it been up to Clara's parents I wouldn't have.” 'Jack' said as his wife took a seat next to him, smilling sweetly at her husband.

“Well, no matter, it's a good thing you came here, Jack,” Rob said, “we can use strong workers like you.”

It was exactly what they had hoped for; people _liked_ them, people felt like they needed them in their community. The first part of their plan, to integrate, had gone successful.


	2. The Merry Mare Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin's life as Clara; he has some fancy tea, with cake, gets offered a potential lover which he politely declines, and at the end of the day he finds out something useful. (I suck at summaries...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for the comments and the kudos! It's motivating to know some people out there are interested in reading this~ I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
> 
> A few warnings; I sometimes get my canon facts wrong, so I'm sorry if there is any confusion. Second, there are original characters in this fanfic, some of them not very important but 2-3 help me turn the plot wheel for Armin and Levi.

“You look good in that dress,” Levi said as he wiped down the windowsill with a piece of cloth, inspecting it to see how much dust had come off the wood, “the windowsills are dusty.” He muttered.

They were in their bedroom, the house only had one bedroom connected to a bath area upstairs. It wasn't a big place, just large enough for the two of them.

Armin looked at his captain wide eyed, not sure if he had received an actual compliment or if he had just been evaluated. “I don't like Rob,” Armin said, ignoring his fake husband's comments since he wasn't sure how to reply. Still he tried not to blush as he attempted to unzip the back of his dress. “The way he talks is off, kindly smiling when saying mean things to someone. Isn't that weird?”

“He's important, so we'll have to keep inviting him,” Levi said, “you know that.”

“I know that..” He said, wanting to protest and talk more about all the things odd about Rob. He kept silent however as he felt Levi's hands push his own away, and started to unzip his dress for him. Armin couldn't breathe.

“Relax,” the soft vibration of his voice caressed his neck, “we're married remember? Sometimes you're still too uptight around me, people are going to find _that_ weird.”

“We're alone now though.”

“Yes, but if we act like a couple all the time it will feel more natural. Besides you never know who's looking, maybe someone's gotten suspicious.” The ebony haired man said as the back of Armin's dress fell open exposing his pale, naked skin.

“I'll try harder,” he managed to say. He hoped he didn't sound as husky as he thought he had.

“Good.” Levi sighed and Armin could feel his breath travelling over his back, leaving goosebumps. “This was your plan afterall.”

The captain returned to dusting and Armin quickly changed into his.. nightgown. It was a silky, silver colored dress of thin fabric, held up by lace straps around his pale shoulders and almost reached down to his knees. It made him feel horribly exposed, but as Levi had said even when they were alone they had to pretend to be Clara and Jack, since they didn't know when they might be entertaining unexpected company or who was watching them.

With blushing cheeks and a slight frown on his face, he turned to face Levi, “this wasn't part of my plan. If we had to go in as Clara and Jack, you could have gone as Clara instead."

Levi looked unimpressed as he stored his cleaning supplies in their walk in closet. “Somehow I doubt it would have worked as well as this arrangement.”

“Why not? We're the same height, you could have passed as a woman,” Armin said before he knew it, and felt a slight panick bubbling up, “I-I didn't mean-”

“It's nothing to do with my height,” Levi said with a frown, “but more that I don't have the patience for all of that.” He waved his hand towards the vanity table, which was standing against the wall opposite of the bed. “Besides I might have ended up murdering those women you have to hang out with.”

“Some of them are a bit.. overwhelming,” the blonde said as he slipped under the covers, “and sorry I didn't mean to snap.”

“You're frustrated with Clara I get it,” his captain offered him a small knowing smile, “Jack gets on my nerves as well.”

They were in this together, the only person he could trust was right in this room with him, it made a strange warmth swell up inside his chest. Armin smiled back, thankful to not be alone afterall.

“Goodnight, Levi,” he whispered softly.

Levi snuffed out the candle on his bed side table before joining him in the double sized bed, and said a soft, “night."

  
                                                                                  * * *

  
The pins in his hair hurt. He felt like they induced headaches but he tried to keep up with fashion, and some of his new friends had mentioned always having your hair down is not elegant at all. Now with a little help of his 'husband' they managed to get his golden locks braided and pinned up, it was a little hard since his hair still wasn't long enough to get nice braids but it worked out, suprisingly.

Apparently his friends liked his hair so much they couldn't stop complimenting him on it. Personally he thought it made him look ridiculous, whenever he saw his own reflection when they passed by a window he cringed and looked away.

His new friends mainly existed out of bored, married women. They had enough time to care about hair and such things, most of them didn't have children yet and didn't work either, they depended on their husbands. He had to remind himself 'Clara' fits into that category of women as well, so he tried to copy their bored acts but subtly, he didn't want to look like he was making fun of them.

Today they had gathered up in a small tea house. The building was quite exquisite, from the outside it looked like a simple white house in a row of other white houses, but the door was a polished dark wood and on it delicate little birds were painted with a composition involving small twigs and leaves.

Inside the walls were painted from the bottom to the high ceiling, brushstrokes depicted a green wilderness, trees full with bright green leaves, plants with various shapes, vines wrapping around the trees and a few odd red flowers or white birds were scattered among the many shades of green as well. While around the room they had placed sienna colored pots with plants which had large leaves, some of them open others were rolled up, it added to the feeling of being outside in an exotic wooded area. Except of course for the modern wooden tables, the smell of freshly baked cake, the clattering of forks and knives as well as the conversations which acompanied them.

Armin was sitting at one of the larger tables with four other women and a young man. These were the four women he had befriended through Rob's wife, she had introduced him to them as they were roughly around the same age, and at the same phase in live.

Sarah, an attractive, brown haired woman in her early thirties with light, brown eyes was the oldest of them. She was calm and elegant but manipulative when she didn't get her way, he actually liked her the most since the others didn't seem half as smart as her.

Then there was Jennifer, a young girl close to his own age who married a man twice her age, a wealthly middle class man who provided her with anything she wanted. She had long, dark blonde hair and hazel eyes.

Another hazel eyed woman was Cynthia, slightly younger than Sarah but far less appealing in character and appearance. She had light brown hair up in a bun, tanned, freckled skin and a sharp nose. She was the kind who loved judging others while bragging about her latest dresses.

And last there was Natalie, who seemed to always just talk along with what everyone else was saying, never having thoughts of her own, she was childish and had a small round baby face with freckles, blue eyes and black hair. Armin thought of her as a sponge, sucking up everyone elses their opinions and never having any of her own.

All of them were middle class women but they had husbands who worked for the Mare government, so if he was going to find out anything important these women were likely his key to any type of useful information. He and Levi had gotten lucky with Rob's friendship and his wife's help, Armin would've been clueless about how to befriend their types otherwise.

Sarah hadn't come alone today but brought a young man, single and quite handsome with his reddish, curly locks and amber eyes. The eldest of his friends was known for having affairs with younger men yet she somehow got away with it. Armin wondered how her husband must feel.

“What?” She asked when she had taken her seat, “Danny is just here to enjoy a cup of tea with us.”

Armin followed the example of the other girls and softly chuckled into his hand at that explanation.

“Is the truth,” she said, “besides he's my brother in law, so whatever you're thinking you're wrong. I brought him for Clara.”

“E-excuse me?”

“You're still far too bashful! I thought you needed something to shake you out of it!” Sarah smiled a not so innocent smile at him, making him more nervous by the minute.

“Obviously her husband isn't doing it.” Cynthia said sharply to which Natalie giggled.

“Excuse me!” Armin said again, heat rising to his cheeks as he frowned at Cynthia, “my husband isn't lacking anything.” He looked less upset as he spoke to Sarah, “it's really kind of you but I love my husband, we haven't been married for that long, so I-I..”

“Don't worry about it,” Sarah waved with her hand, “I'm sure the two of you can be friends for now.” Armin wanted to protest but she continued before he could,”afterall Danny works with the titan test subjects..” She smiled again this time triumphantly, “something you were interested in...?”

Armin's eyes widened slightly, then repeated the excuse he had memorized for his interest titans, “my grandfather used to tell me stories about titans, they were so scary but I couldn't help being intrigued by these creatures, still can't.” He tried to sound nostalgic, truly picturing his grandfather to pull it off.

“You have the weirdest tastes!” Cynthia shook her head and Jenny agreed, her soft voice saying, “a pretty girl like you could've married into wealth easily, instead your tastes goes toward someone like Jack. Don't be angry with me, I think he's nice, and not bad looking at all but he's so short and hardly has any money.”

“He has a good job though, he'll earn his way in to modest wealth soon enough,” Sarah said, a half way attempt to defend Clara.

“I love him, it has nothing to do with taste or money.” Armin said, uncomfortable by being analyzed according to these women's standards.

“I do admire a woman who's lead by her heart and not her head,” apparently Danny had a tongue and it worked, his voice was low with a rough edge, in contrast to his boyish looks. “And I could tell you many titan stories, ones that are actually true.”

He didn't want to spend time with a man who had been lured here with the promise of being able to have sex with him, but his goal was information so there wasn't a choice, “I.. would love to hear them.”

An hour with Clara's charming friends seemed like ages. All sorts of worthless conversations, sugar coated insults and sexual innuendos were going back and forth while they were drinking tea and eating some really good cake, the last being an only comfort. The blonde couldn't help thinking of how lucky he was to have Eren and Mikasa, friendship wasn't exhausting with them, it was a comfort, a safe place, they could depend on each other, they loved each other. He couldn't wait see them again.

For now they were parting ways at the tea house. Armin had planned to go home to his and Levi's cosy house, but since Danny insisted on accompanying him he decided on something else.

“So, what is it that you do in the titan research center?” Armin asked, thinking it was a normal enough question, especially for someone known to be interested in the subject.

“I help formulate serums mostly, but sometimes I take care of the Elodians who have volunteered. It takes a lot out of them to do this, you know how some of them are willing to shift into titans in order to help us with... upcoming troubles.”

Yes, Armin knew how it took a toll on one's body and mind to become a titan. He tried to smile pleasantly as if they were having small talk, which they were having, he had to remind himself. “Of course, that's old news. Everyone knows that!” Levi and Armin had found out that the titan experiments were public knowledge, what those experiments were or what the upcoming troubles could be, wasn't. Though they've heard many people speculating about a war. “Can you.. tell me something I don't know?” He asked almost teasingly, while he lifted a shoulder up to his cheek as he had seen many women doing when they were being... flirty.

“Ah, trying to get me into trouble right away, aren't you?” Danny teased back. “What exactly would you like to know?”

“Oh, no, I would never want that.” Clara said, innocently, “well what use do those serums have you're working on?” Armin didn't believe the only serum they had a whole research center work on was the one which turned Elodians into titans, that one already worked afterall, so he assumed they must be experimenting with many types of serums.

“I can't share any details, I'm sure you understand... _but_ you are aware that most titans are.. well mindless, like wild animals they're dangerous in their search for food.”

The blonde nodded, “they even eat human flesh.” He said as if couldn't imagine such things, “ but they live on the island.”

“Yes, but in case we may have to explore the island or if for some reason they're able to reach Mare, for those cases we need something to make them less dangerous.”

“Like putting them to sleep?”

“I can't really tell you, but..” he seemed to hesitate then took a quick look around, but nobody was paying them attention, “what would make a wild, hungry animal less dangerous?”

“If you take their hunger away?”

“Yes, but then that would leave 'wild' they could still be unpredictable and dangerous.”

Armin looked ahead for a moment, seriously thinking about it without forcing himself to act dumb, “if you can control them.” He said, then looked back at Danny who was looking at him intently.

“Exactly,” Danny said as he smiled that charming smile of his.

Their eyes locked, and for a moment he feared Danny was looking right through him, that he could he easily tell he was a man _and_ a spy. He looked away, inhaled deeply, and resumed playing his role, “how exciting. Maybe one day we could go on trips to the island to see titans in their natural environment.” Like a _safari_ he once read that word in a book, it was a pretty word.

“I.. doubt that,” the red head shook his head, the thought amusing him, “I think the citizens of Mare would rather view the island from above, safe with a cup of tea.” The man said as he looked up at a zeppelin that had just taken off.

“Perhaps you're right about that.”

They reached their destination right when Danny decided to make a bold move and took Armin's hand in his, the blonde was relieved at the perfect timing as he gently pulled his hand back, “that's my husband over there.”

Those words definitely shook Danny out of his flirtatious mood, he looked with wide eyes into the direction Armin had nodded towards, “but I thought I was taking you home.” He said confused.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mention I often go by Jack's work to pick him up on the days I go out with the girls. Do you want to meet him? Jack!” Victory truly was the horrified look on Danny's face, though he did feel a little guilty about it. Still Armin made Clara look innocently unaware, he was sure Danny could be useful in the near future, this way he wouldn't think Clara had purposely put him in this awkward situation. She was just a dimwit.

Levi looked suprised as he noticed them, Rob was with him and they were both walking out of 'Woodstock' the place where Levi had to work as a carpenter. Hange had figured a job like that was something Levi could do and might actually get him government assignments.

“Jack, meet Danny. Sarah introduced him since he knows all about titans.” He said as he clinged to Levi's arm, like a lovesick puppy.

“You and your titan obsession. They're _horrible_ creatures you know,” Levi said disapprovingly, and Armin wondered if he should take that personally. “I hope my wife isn't bothering you too much.” 

“Oh, no not at all,” the young man said with a sugary sweet smile, “I know a lot about them and I do enjoy talking about the strange creatures. Hello Rob,” he added the last, nodding to the older man.

“You young people and your strange fascinations,” Rob shook his head,”how's your brother doing Daniel?”

“Great, he's doing well, actually I had arranged to meet him. I would love to stay and chat but I should be going.”

“I hope I haven't hold you up for too long,” Armin said, innocently.

“Not at all! May we meet again soon,” he said almost nervously before leaving them.

“I'd keep a watch on that one Jack. Young Danny was making eyes at your wife.” Rob's rough voice sounded.

“Was he?” Levi said, a well played frown on his face.

Armin raised his eyebrows in confusion, “what do you mean, sir?”

“Nothing to worry that pretty face over,” the man said, winking at the blond. “My own wife's expecting me for dinner, so I'll leave you two here.”

While Rob left Levi pulled his and Armin's connected arms into the opposite direction, “are you planning to cheat on me already?”

“Well, he _is_ very handsome.” Armin said tauntingly.

“Not sure you can pretend to be Clara during the whole cheating process, the guy is in for a.. surprise.” Levi was actually being cheeky and although he looked stoic, the blonde could tell his lips were slightly tilted in amusement.

Armin pushed his lips together in order not to fall into loud laughter, “I guess then it's a good thing I'm faithful to my husband.”

“A very good thing. Especially for Danny.” He joked.

The blonde did laugh then, although softly, enjoying to see a mirthful look on Levi's face. Another face he could lock into his memories for when they would make it out alive, by some wonder, and Levi would go back to being his captain who hardly spared him a glance.

He told Levi what he had learned from Danny in whispers, while they were walking arm in arm, which was how couples often walked in Mare, towards their home. Arrived, Levi was informed and quietly musing over the new information. “What do you think about it?” The ebony haired man asked as he locked the door, and took off his jacket.

“What use would they have to control the titans?" It was something only Eren had been able to do in the past. "The titans will kill and destroy anything in their path anyway,” Armin said, dark memories swirling around in his head, “but if they had a human army on the island, they could make sure the titans would only attack us.”

“And if they're worried about the titans in the walls, that serum would be able to solve that problem.” Levi mused as well.

“Whatever it is they want to do with that serum it's not good for us. I'm sure they're experimenting with other serums as well, probably even ones that are more dangerous.” More dangerous than controling a titan, his imagination took flight and it wasn't showing him pretty pictures.

“So.. we need a sample of it, and the possible other potions. Hange could replicate them and we'd be on equal grounds at least.”

He looked tired, the blonde noticed.

“Why don't you go and take a bath? I know my cooking skills aren't as good as yours but it's not horrible.. anymore.” He said, the image of soggy potatoes and burned cutlets from the first time he had cooked appeared in the back of his mind. Surprisingly Levi had actually tried to eat it.

Said black haired man gave him a look, as if they had just shared the same memory of watery potato drab. “I'll turn on the fireplace then.”

“I'll do it! You just go and relax.”

“Is this your way of telling me I stink and look like shit?” Levi raised an eyebrow as he looked at Armin, who had started to move the pans in their kitchen around.

“Maybe a little,” the blonde replied, noticing the rings underneath Levi's eyes, “I mean! You're the one doing hard labor, while I just do nothing all day. I can at least take care of the cooking and stuff.”

“Well, you doing nothing got us more information than me cutting up wood and making furniture in all this time.” Levi noted, perhaps not quite happy with his own lack of process, he tiredly touched his forehead.

“You don't like being Jack, do you?” Armin asked, filling a large pan with water.

“If he was a soldier in the survey cops I'd have kicked his ass around and then some. The fucker is an idiot, who everyone thinks is an utter fool.” But people trust fools not to think for themselves, fools get into places nobody wants someone who's smart, someone who could be a potential threat. 

“You're playing him well,” Armin offered, hoping it would be some consolation. He leaned on their kitchen counter now facing Levi, and his cooking momentarily forgotten.

Levi just sighed, then looked at Armin, “are you getting sick of her yet?”

“A.. little, yeah,” Armin grinned and his fake husband smiled. Together they'll suffer.

“I can't believe it actually stayed up halfway decent,” Levi said pointing at the blonde's hair.

“Yeah,” he touched one of the pinned up braids with his finger tips, “it's tight though... it feel like it's giving me headaches.”

“Turn around,” Levi said simply, as he walked up to Armin.

He did as he was tolded, heart thumping in his chest loudly. Whenever the ebony haired man came close his body would still react nervously, with palms sweating and a drying throat.

Levi pulled out each pin carefully, trying to not damage the golden locks, until all braids were unpinned and hanging around Armin's head. “Now this is a style that should be made fashionable.”

Armin turned his head and looked at a mirror hanging a little further away in their hallway, there weren't many doors seperating the areas in their house. “Oh, god, and I thought the updo was horrible.”

Levi snickered as he started to unbraid one of them. Armin did the same to one of the braids in front, so they'd get done faster. Once unbraided Levi grabbed the younger man's head and rufffled all the hair until it was one big, puffy, golden mess.

“Awesome,” he said, and Armin thanked him bitterly for making even more of a mess of his hair, before Levi went upstairs to take that bath.


	3. Tainted world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From kisses to drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have a lovely 2018!! 
> 
> Chapter warning; blood, slight gore and violence.
> 
> *I also apologize for any grammar and spelling mistakes (not the best grammar student and she wants to be a writer, oops..)

Once the stove was on and the potatoes, cutlets and vegetables were cooking the place almost felt homey with the smell of the food, and the candles lit. Armin turned the stove's heat on low before he went upstairs to trade his lovely, uncomfortable dress for what was acceptable womenswear indoors; wide piped, grey pants, which looked like a giant skirt, but alteast they were pants so he wasn't complaining, and a loose, matching grey shirt with short sleeves.

He spared a moment looking into the vanity mirror, he grabbed a brush and pulled it through his hair until his blonde locks fell into neat waves around his face. It was the first time he saw his hair other than straight, since he had never braided it before so the after effects of a braid, wavy hair, had been foreign to him.

He hadn't noticed the presence of the other man, still debating whether or not he liked his reflection in the mirror, moving his head from this side to the other.

“Like what you see?”

Levi's voice suddenly sounded, a flush rushing over Armin's face, “n-no! I mean it's just.. different.” He said, tucking some hair behind his ear.

The other man was still naked with only a towel wrapped around his waist, in one of his hands he held a burning candle in a holder. He placed the candle near the vanity mirror, giving Armin a sideway glance. “You look good,” which were three words the blonde noticed he said a lot to him, just as he noticed the man's adam's apple bobbing after he said it.

“I'm not a girl,” Armin said firmly with a frown across his features, he felt he needed to state that clearly.

Levi huffed, running the brush through his own damp hair before placing it back, “I know that, though you might not want to say it too loudly.”

The raven haired man moved and stood behind him now as if he wanted to go towards their closet but got stuck along the way. Armin eyed him through the mirror's reflection. There was something undeniable in those grey eyes, the blonde had seen it before but always pretended not to, too frightened of it. He knew Levi had always liked him, somewhat, platonically, in a passerby way, though in the time they've been here they became a little more, 'friends' he could describe it as. Two people who had nobody but each other, and there was something else brewing. There was lust in Levi's eyes, and it scared Armin. It scared him because he thought it was the type of lust that would most likely end as soon as their mission was over.

For a moment, just a split second, Levi looked actually vulnerable, he looked younger and unsure of what to do and in that second before he could recover himself Armin decided to get bold. He turned around and grabbed Levi's face and kissed him, uncaring of the consequences until his heart beat went through the roof, he let go. “I'm... I'm sorry.”

“For what? If you want to kiss me, kiss me.”

Armin's cheeks reddened again with embarrassment, and he was about to state how it was an accident, he clumsily bumped into his lips, and how he didn't want to kiss him at all, when Levi stopped his train of thoughts by repeating their first kiss.

“I'll do the same,” the ebony haired man said, cheeky smile on his face.

He felt breathless, but his panic slipped away, his dented pride discarded within seconds as he decided to take his captain's advice and they fell into a session of kisses, innocent at first but then they became longer, wetter, deeper and definitely dirtier. His hands were tucked into black locks and Levi held him flush against his damp body.

Armin felt a brush against his legs then heard a vaint thud, and realised Levi had lost his towel. His hands slid from the black hair against the soft skin of the other man's neck, and landed on top of Levi's shoulders. He moved his head back, removing his lips from the other, taking in a slow breath, he tried not to look down but instead into Levi's hooded eyes, who had his hands firmly on his hips, letting his thumbs massage into his clothed body.

It was sending spikes through his whole being since those hands were only a few touches away from his butt, the fabric of his pants was thin and he wasn't wearing any underwear, since the panties Hange had given him were designed to hide and press away his manhood, which was uncomfortable, sometimes painful and made him not want to wear them at home.

“I think you're naked,” he said, realising he really wanted to look down and take a peek.

His captain smiled and kissed him along his jaw, “I know I am,” he whispered before letting the blonde go, “I'll get changed.”

Levi finally made that walk towards their closet, giving Armin the opportunity to get a view of his backside, for a few moments the blonde didn't let that opportunity go by, until he felt the staring became obvious and quickly bended through his knees to pick up the towel and threw it in their laundry basket next to the vanity.

When he looked back at Levi, the man had pulled on a pair of dark trousers, their eyes caught again and the ebony haired man gave him a small smile, he returned the smile and then it hit him, “oh no!”

“What?” Levi asked, startled.

Armin was already rushing towards the door, “the potatoes!” He yelled, and as he ran down the steps of the stairway he could swear he heard Levi laughing.

                                                                                   ***

Jack greeted everyone politely with a smile on his face when walking to his job. He was charismatic, helpful, nice enough in the morning but cheerful would be pushing it.

Jack was a perfect asshole and Levi had a hard time enjoying the character. Smiling, and saying 'good morning' to every idiot he saw was tiring. He was exhausted even before he got to 'woodstock' where he still had to do hard labor, although the actual labor was the thing he liked the most. Sometimes they were putting together furniture, which was alright, but other times they were commissioned to put together inventions drawn by the customer. Mare had many inventors, self proclaimed and professional. The society was alive with people who strived to improve their technology even more, and they needed others who could build their imaginary into the substantial.

From various of strange looking vehicles to rather unsafe kitchen tools. Most of them didn't satisfy the customer as often it didn't do what it was imagined it could, but they'd always come back with an improved version for them to put together.

The latest creation Levi was put on was an one-man vehicle, it pretty much was a box positioned in a large wheel, and the box which was supposed to hold a person was held in the middle of the weel trapped in a web of steel wires, the box had no bottom where a man's legs were suppose to stick out so it could work the pedals that were attached to the box. It was rather amusing, and puzzling to Levi how the inventor couldn't figure out the impossibility of it working without having to commission a life size version of it.

Yet, despite the many projects he'd worked on still no government commissions which he and Armin had hoped for. Neither could he out shine his colleagues to gain attention and get a government assignment himself. He wasn't actually trained into this job, so he was average at best.

But once in a while there was Rob, he stopped by quite often since he used to work at woodstock, now he was someone who worked for the government's research and technology team. And the man seemed to like Levi's fake persona well enough.

Rob was there today, Levi saw a glimpse of the man in the back of the large work place before he disappeared into the backroom. It was strange seeing Rob this early in the morning. He didn't think it was a holiday, Armin hadn't mentioned anything either. He never felt quite comfortable when something was out of order.

“Hi, there Jack, good morning isn't?” Elliot one of their younger workers called out to him, he was about eighteen, Armin's age. Levi pushed the image of the blonde out of his head, and greeted him back while pulling on his working overall on top of his clothes. He didn't miss how nervous Elliot sounded.

Something was wrong.

“You alright, Elliot? You seem a bit pale.” He questioned in earnest concern. The boy was practically white.

They were the only ones in the work space, the place smelled of terpenoids, wood and oil, when there was no one around it wasn't exactly a cosy place, it was large and dark filled with the strange projects which looked ominous left alone without much light. Elliot was starring at an unfinished chair infront of him but it was a blank stare as if he wasn't even seeing it.

“Elliot?”

His voice shook the young man out of his thoughts and his green eyes looked wide, “oh.. it's nothing.”

He had to look up at him, since the boy was a tall one, "nothing's got you looking really spooked.”

Elliot nervously scratched his arm, “I know.. I've worked here since I was fourteen. This happened once before but I can't say... can't say anything.”

Levi frowned at that, “has this got to do with Rob? I saw him in the back just now.” He asked but was already moving towards where he'd saw the man.

“No! No, you can't go there Jack!”

Jack ignored his young colleague and opened the door of the backroom as soon as he reached it, he heard Elliot behind him going for a run towards him. Too late.

Levi frowned in confusion at what he saw infront of him, “Rob? What's going on?”

There was a man he had never seen before, not much older than Levi himself, with blonde hair cut short, wearing a good looking suit in the room with Rob together with a few of Levi's colleagues and two soldiers, only the blonde man was tied to a chair. His arms were stretched back to where his palms had been tied with a rough, textured robe, the type that prickles your skin when you touch it, his legs were each tied to one the chair's paws with the same robe. A cloth was in his mouth to keep him silent. He was sweating and shaking.

The man was terrified.

And Levi knew there was nothing he could do to help him. He could only be Jack in this world.

“Elliot, what the hell did I say?” Rob's raging voice sounded as if he owned the place and it's workers.

“I'm so sorry! I didn't..”

“The boy is trembling!” One of the soldiers said.

Rob sighed, “look Elliot, just go home but lock the door before you go and make sure everyone else knows not to come in today. Can you do that, at least?”

“Yes, I will! I can do that.” Elliot couldn't get away fast enough, almost bumping into the wall as he did.

Levi took one look at the tied up man, then said, “I should go with him.”

“No stay. I trust you, Jack, I do. Besides you wanted to know what's going on.” Rob said.

“So, what _is_ going on?” Levi asked stepping further into the room with more Levi attitude then Jack should hold. He scolded himself internally, watching how Rob narrowed his eyes at him. The black haired man didn't think the man trusted him at all, just trusted his ability to control him. “I mean to have a man tied up to a chair, closing Woodstock .. he must have done something really bad to you.”

The older man smiled approvingly at that last bit, scratching absentmindedly at his short trimmed, brown beard. “True he did something bad but to a close friend of mine, I promised him I'd take care of it because that's what I do for my friends.”

“Anyone is lucky to have you as a friend, Rob.” Jack sucked up to him, like most people did. The other men in the room all nodded and agreed with his statement.

As if humbled by the praise Rob tilted his head down with a tiny smug smile, “thank you. Of course it goes without saying that what will happen in this room will stay in this room.”

Levi nodded like the rest of the goons.

“This man assaulted my friend's wife, then even dared to steal her jewelry.” The man in the chair was shaking his head from right to left as if to claim he was innocent, but Rob ignored him, “we cannot have such scum living in our city! Putting our wives and daughters in danger. How dare this garbage.. let's make sure he never touches one of our women again.”

Levi wanted to ask if there was proof, and say that they should at least hear the man's version of what had happened but instead he kept silent. His throat was dry and he knew very well what was going to happen next, the intentions of these men were clear as day. Still there was nothing he could do for this man. There was someone else he needed to protect, picturing the blonde, his kisses still fresh in his mind, he couldn't make an enemy of Rob.

“You stay back, Jack, stay in the corner. You're not ready for any of this, so just watch. It's okay.”

He did his best to show an appreciative smile to Rob as he stepped back in to the shadow of the room's corner. And then it began. He had seen a lot of cruelty but nothing like this. This wasn't a murder, it was a slaughter... right down to the butcher's knives. One with laughter as if they were playing a game, and they didn't make it fast, by the end Levi had forgotten how to breath and he had no idea of what he had just seen. Pointless, and nothing to do with justice for a crime.

The middle aged man stepped up to him with a wide grin, sweat shining on his forehead, covered in splashes of blood, he was out of breath. He looked satisfied as if he had just gone for a run.

“We're going to get rid of the scum and wash up, I know how you love to clean, so get this all done, ok?” The man ordered him as he waved towards the floor, at the mess they had made. He had to clean the evidence.

But Levi nodded, an automatic gesture then watched all the men leave, taking the mutilated body with them. The expensive suit of the death man now looked like rags, leaving threads and pieces of fabric behind. He wondered who he was.

It took him a long time, and a few buckets of red stained water, before he left the place spotless. Rob would be proud, he thought bitterly.

Outside he walked around aimlessly, through alleys he had walked before with Armin. They had wandered around together on free days or during the evenings, and surprisingly it hadn't been boring, the younger man always had something intriguing to tell when they were walking.

Armin was an interesting guy, attractive, sweet. Levi decided the blonde shouldn't have to deal with the way he was right now, so he didn't end his walk infront of their house but at a rough looking pub. It was warm inside, with a stench of beer and male sweat, there hardly were any women in an environment like this. He decided on a secluded table in the back, ordered a beer instead of the tea he wanted, nobody was drinking tea and he had to act like a normal Mare guy, as Hange had told him many times before they left. He wasn't sure what normal was however, killing a defenseless man for a crime he hadn't been convicted off was the 'normal' here it seemed.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he looked into his pint. Were things going well? In the time they had spend here they hardly gathered any useable information. It had taken months of work and study to prepare for this mission. They had spies disguised as homeless people inside of Mare to gather information about how the society looked, how people acted, what their values were, so he and Armin, the first long time spies, would have a believable story and would be able to blend in. Blending in was all they had done.

As Levi took a gulp of the beer, he saw a flash of a familiar face, pushing through the crowd of people to get to the exit of the place. Did he know someone with red hair? Maybe someone who had ordered furniture from woodstock? He shook his head and took another swallow. In the distance he saw a colleague approaching, not one who had been at Woodstock today, he came up with small talk. “Hi Jack! Lucky to get a sudden day off, no?” The man started.

Levi growled inwardly, this was just what he didn't need at the moment.

 

                                                                                     * * *

  
Armin had been impatiently waiting, unsure if he should go out to find Levi. Worst case scenarios went through his head as he cleared the dishes of the uneaten dinner. He had a little bite and was glad it didn't taste bad, like yesterday's potatoes and burned meat, but since it wasn't like Levi to come home late, he had felt too anxious to eat anymore.

Uncomfortable clothes still on, he paced the living room, occasionally peeking through the thick brown curtains to see if he was coming home. It was dark already, the street lights were on. When he sat down for a moment to recollect his thoughts someone knocked on the door.

He froze, why would Levi knock?

With his own heart knocking the walls of his chest, he got up and opened the door warily. When he saw his visitor he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not.

“Danny?”

The man had a dazzling smile on his good looking face, “I'm sorry, I'm probably the last person you'd expect. Susan told me where your place is.”

“Oh,” Armin said, unsure of how to respond or if he should let him in.

“I think you need to grab your coat and come with me.” The handsome man said.

“Why? But I can't, I'm waiting for my husband to come home.”

“You look worried,” Danny observed.

Armin frowned, looking at his feet, he should really learn to conceal his feelings better, “I do?”

“You shouldn't be. I just saw your husband, he's at the Rainman pub. He looked fine but drinking alone and he seemed to be out of it.” 

The blonde blinked, what was he doing there? “So.. you thought you'd come and get me?”

“Yeah, I thought you'd might be worried and I guess I was right. I thought maybe he needed you to bring him home. It wouldn't have been my place to tell him that.”

Armin nodded and got his coat, a long brown, woolen one, which buttoned up and got tied around the waist. He stepped outside and locked the door, then eyed Danny shyly. “You don't have to come with me. I'm sure you have better things to do.”

“I won't let a young woman walk around on her own in the dark. That would be very irresponsible of me, besides better things would be board games with my mother and sister.”

The blonde chuckled, “you're very honest.”

The man smiled in return, “well you're spoken for, I have no reason to impress you.”

Armin blushed slightly, “Jack's not the type to get drunk. It's not like we'd have to drag him out of that pub or anything. He's not like that.”

“I'm sure but he looked... I don't know, he just didn't look like the man I met the other day. Like I said I think he needs some help.”

“Oh,” Armin said again, his heart racing again. What had happened?

“It's not too long of a walk,” Danny nudged his elbow softly against Armin's arm, as if trying to cheer him up, he added jokingly, “you're not going to tell anyone I spend my evenings playing boardgames with my family?”

Arming laughed,“now that would be an interesting bit of gossip. I bet Cynthia would have a good laugh, but I think other women would find it... endearing.”

“Do you find it endearing?” He gave 'Clara' a cheeky look.

“Well, yeah... but I'm spoken for, remember?” The blonde said teasingly.

“Damn.” Danny faked a defeated look, “then I'd still prefer you keep the boardgame gossip to yourself. It's hardly juicy is it?”

“Fine, but I want something in return!”

“A steamy night of sin in a seedy hotelroom?” The red head wiggled his eyebrows at him and Armin shocked, pushed him to the side, “no!” They both ended up laughing as Danny nearly lost his balance but regained it quickly.

“So, what can I bribe you with?” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow.

A feeling of guilt passed Armin before he put his best smile on and said without a stutter, “show me around at your work.”

“Ah, that's right.” The man said as if he had forgotten about it, but Armin suspected he hadn't, “you're the girl with the weird tastes. The one that likes short men and titan stories.”

“I suppose that's me..”

“Fine, it's a deal.” Danny said easily and Armin felt like a bad person just looking into his trusting, hazel eyes.

He looked away as if he was shy, “that's really... nice of you, thank you.”

“It's no problem. Maybe if you see your grandfather again you can tell him some new titan stories.”

Armin smiled, wishing he could, “yeah.”

“And here we are! I told you it wasn't a long walk.” The young man said as they arrrived at the Rainman pub, “you first. It's better if I can keep an eye on you in this place.”

Inside it was a mess of drunken men, who openly stared at him and even called out at him. He tried to ignore them and heard Danny telling ones that got too close off. “He's sitting there in the back,” Danny said behind him, and took hold of his shoulder to stir him in the right direction. “I see him,” Armin said as he catched ebony hair and a sour face. He really did look bad, he thought and rushed to his table, opening his mouth to say 'Levi' but was able to correct himself.

“Jack!”

Levi opened and closed his mouth, he could see an 'a' forming and realised he almost slipped up like he had nearly done a second before. “Clara, what are you doing here?” He looked behind him and Armin looked over his shoulder to see Danny.

“Danny wanted to help you but didn't know how so..”

“So, he came and get you? Did he think I missed my curfew?” The black haired spy asked with a good dose of sarcasm.

“Look, we're just worried is all!” Danny said and Levi narrowed his eyes at him.

Armin made a face and mouthed 'Levi' at his captain, with his back towards Danny, hoping to snap his captain out of it to regain his role. The look on the older man's face seemed like it had. He let his head fall down, and nodded, “fine, I didn't mean to make anyone worried.” He said but the blonde thought he sounded awfully restrained and not like he meant it at all.

“Shall we go then?” Danny asked, firmly, “this is not a place for a lady.”

“Then you shouldn't have brought her here,” Levi said as he stood and threw his payment on the table, “but then again any excuse to be alone with my wife?”

“Jack!”

“You're drunk, so I'm going to let that one slide.” The other man responded, though his eyes were shooting arrows at Levi.

His husband mock laughed, “I'm not drunk, so you don't have to let that one slide.”

“Then why are you behaving like you are?” Armin stressed, trying to give his captain a 'what the hell are you doing?' look.

Levi made to leave the pub then, ignoring his 'wife' and the red head.

“Unbelievable,” Armin heard Danny mutter softly to himself when he followed his fake husband out.

Outside there was a sudden chill, maybe because the pub had been overly warm, or maybe the wheather had taken a turn, it made Armin shiver as he quickly walked after Levi, his feet aching from the heeled shoes.

“Clara, are you going to be alright?” Danny had followed them and came to a walk next to Armin.

He smiled appreciative to him, “yes, thank you. But I think it's better if I go after him alone. You need to get back to your eventful evening activities I'm sure,” they both grinned at that before Danny went his own way.

“He better take care of you,” the young man said before he left him.

“Jack! _Levi_ ,” he hissed, “what's wrong?”

“What did I tell you about calling me that outside the house?”

“Somehow I think it's less suspicious than you trying to pick a fight with Danny. Jack's not the challenging guy.”

“Even Jack will get pissed off at someone who's trying to score with his wife.”

Armin didn't want to fantasize that it was Levi not liking Danny flirting with him, because it most likely wasn't true. They may have kissed but that didn't mean they were an actual couple. “But that's not what he did! He just wanted to help.”

Levi sighed, “he didn't.”

“What's wrong? Did something happen? I just don't understand, you're always home before dinner. I was really worried.”

“Maybe I don't want to be home everyday before dinner.”

Armin swallowed the hurt, reminding himself, it's not a real marriage, not a real relationship, they were simply on a mission together. “Still, you could have let me known.” He said firmly, watching Levi's back as he sighed again, lifting his shoulders before dropping them. “Something happened, I got a right to know, so just tell me.”

They walked in silence for a long time. As if Levi hadn't heard his request, but Armin felt like he shouldn't push it anymore so he calmly walked along, at least the pace had slowed down. He studied the older man's face subtly from side way glances, he looked tired and torn with his eyebrows almost touching eachother in a heavy frown, he was thinking about something. The blonde sighed softly, not sure if he could say or do anything that may help his captain.

“You were flirting with him, why?”

The question took Armin unaware, and after a second of confusion, he figured the other man was talking about Danny, “I wasn't. We were just getting along.”

“If you say so.”  
  
Those words sounded slightly mocking to Armin, “I miss Eren, and Mikasa, alright? Danny is... could be something like a friend, a male friend. Not like the women I have to hang out with, he's just a nice person.”

There was a moment of silence again before Levi reacted, “sorry Armin.” He whispered his name softly, “but in his eyes you're a pretty woman he's interested in. He doesn't want friendship.”

“But it's all he's getting. Obviously. Men and women can be friends, you know.”

Levi just shrugged, “that wasn't my point. If he knew you're a guy and he was in to you, you still wouldn't be able to be just friends with him despite not being a woman.”

“You and me could be friends.” Armin said, not wanting to keep dwelling on Danny. He needed the handsome, red haired man for more than just a few moments of friendship besides he really did feel the man was a good guy.

They were approaching the street they lived in when Levi raised an eyebrow at Armin, “aren't we?”

“Friends tell eachother things, like what's bothering them.” The blonde said with an innocent shrug of the shoulder.

His fake husband 'tsk' at that but gave in, “when we're inside.”

They didn't bother lighting the fire place once they were inside of their little home, it was late and Levi needed to get up early, so they shrugged of their coats, kicked out of their shoes and went upstairs.

Levi lighted the candles in their bedroom while Armin removed his clothing. “Can I wear one of your pajamas? It's so cold.” Armin asked when he picked up one of his unwanted sleeping dresses.

“Sure.”

“Hmm,” the blonde hummed as he happily pulled on one of Jack's flannel's, the fabric felt really nice and warm against his skin, “do I look very much like a boy in this?” Armin asked after Levi had gotten into another one of his pj's and gave him a once over, “you always look like a boy to me even in those stupid dresses. I don't get how you fool people.”

“Probably, people just see what you suggest them to see. It helps wearing scarfs around my neck.” He figured the adam apple would give away his gender, maybe.

“Peope are idiots,” Levi said as he let himself fall on to the bed.

“Yeah, lucky for us,” he joked, before biting his lip, “are you still going to tell me?”

 

                                                                                        * * *

  
Levi closed his eyes. He hadn't planned to tell Armin, it was something he wanted to keep to himself for now, it had quickly become a part of his life he felt sick about. Just letting someone get killed without moving a finger to help the man, he didn't see himself as some kind of hero, not with his past, but he never doubted his sense of justice or his instinct, and this time he had gone against his instincts.

Still the blonde wasn't going to let this go, so he just summarized his eventful day, “Rob apparently gets to tell when Woodstock is open or closed, today he decided he needed to close it so he could kill a guy.”

Armin blinked, “but why?”

“Apparently because he took advantage of Rob's friend's wife... Not that there was any proof, at least not that I know off, the dead guy tried to deny it. For fun, I suppose. I was there, had to watch the whole thing then cleaned up when they were done.”

“Rob must really trust you.” Levi gave him a look, “well if he let you go afterwards, even trusts you enough not to leave evidence behind, then he must be sure you won't betray him.”

“That's how you respond to me telling you he and his mates killed a defenseless guy?” The ebony haired man observed Armin and didn't see any shock or disgust.

The younger man shrugged, “we've seen so many people get killed, strangers, fellow soldiers and friends both by titans and humans. We have killed... Humans are the same everywhere... ”

This world ruins even the best people, the captain thought sadly as he looked at Armin.

“What? Am I wrong?”

“I suppose not.”

“Why are you so upset? Because of what you saw?” The young man reached out a hand to touch his arm, a shy attempt to give comfort, “are you alright?” His thick eyebrows were drawn together, bags were under his eyes, Levi realised he must have been worried the entire evening when he hadn't come home. It had slipped his mind the blonde could get the wrong idea, he could have been discovered, arrested or on the run. By wanting to spare him his bad mood he had still made him suffer.

“I don't know. Don't know,” Levi answered honestly, “I did see many people die. I've seen awful people do horrible things but... They cut this man up, slid their knives into his skin, all over his body untill there was hardly skin left and then they got sick of it and finally slid his throat.” He took a deep breath, it was a hard sight to forget, he bit his lip and Armin's hand squeezed his arm softly.

“Over kill...” the blonde said, “could it have been personal? Not for a friend of Rob's but-”

“Let just forget about it. You don't have to analyze it. It's done, and I let it happen.”

“That's it, isn't it?" Armin said as if he had finally figured it out. "You feel guilty because you couldn't help the man. There's nothing you could've done, Levi.”

“If you weren't here I would've done something. I wouldn't have just stood there watching.”

“Then I'm glad I'm here, going against Rob would've been a risk. Even if he doesn't find out your true identity by digging into your past, he's dangerous. At least now we know that.”

“You don't make things better, Armin, you make it harder for me.” Without the blonde he could've been more reckless, he might have been able to get further with this mission when there wasn't a second person to think about or to protect. He could've kicked Rob's and his cronies' their asses and save that guy's life, whoever he had been he had deserved a fair trial.

The hand left him, leaving a cold spot on his arm, and when he looked at Armin he wondered if he had said too many hurtful words in one night. He didn't mean to hurt him, he was just being honest. “Armin..”

“I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience, but this was my plan. I need to be here, I need to be useful... that's what you told me once. I have a duty to mankind and I will do whatever I can. I need to be here.” There was such a determined look on the young man's face, he didn't want to crush that by disagreeing.

Levi closed his eyes, but he wasn't sure if he agreed. Armin would have been more useful at home, on top of that if they lost him, they lost an important titan. But he understood the need to proof himself.

“All this talk is pointless. We're both here now, so.. that's it.” He eventually said.

“I'm tired.” Armin blew out his candle, got comfortable on his side of the bed with his back against Levi,” I'm sorry about what you had to go through today.” His voice was small and sad, for some reason it made Levi want to touch him, feel his skin underneath his fingers, kiss him again, make love to him but he withheld himself.

“Yeah,” was all he could think to say and from there it wasn't hard to fall asleep and cut off the real world for a while. 


	4. Motive for a murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin comes up with a plan, but Levi fears the consequences it may have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I need to clarify something that's going to come up in this chapter. When I wrote this chapter I hadn't read the last few chapters of AOT, and now that I have I think I miss read something in the manga; I thought the Elodians that offered to become titan warriors were allowed to live in the Mare cities with their families amongst the other Mare citizens, so that's how I've incorporated it into this fanfiction. 
> 
> But it seems they're still living in the Elodian camps, especially the families? Despite that I'm not going to change that in my story because I would have to change such a big part of the fanfic I already wrote. Just letting you know to avoid confusion!
> 
> Also thank you so much for the comments and the kudos! I love to hear what your thoughts are about this fanfic! And I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Dreams weren't always nicer than reality, in all the chaos and jigsaw pieces of his nightmares blood played the main role; sticky, thicker than water red colored liquid on the floor, on the walls, he had to clean it all up while it guided him the way to the body it had come from. Dead, on the wooden floor he had been cleaning, a small body with blonde hair.

The image got stuck into his head even when he opened his eyes. He sat up straight and tried not to think of how dark the blood had looked clutching blonde hairs together. He looked next to him to see Armin sleeping peacefully on his side, his face was turned to him. He touched the clean blonde hair with his fingertips, listening to the soft breathing of the younger man. He hoped he was having nicer dreams than he just had.

“Hey..” A soft voice said and he couldn't help but smile in responds, “you're up early.” Armin said, sleepily.

“Did I wake you?” He lifted his hand away from the blonde's hair, something warm blossomed inside of him and he supposed it was his version of blushing, the warmth never reached his cheeks.

“No, I don't think so,” Armin said as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, “I don't mind. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Liar,” the younger man smiled, just a soft tender smile, neither happy or sad. He kissed that smile, taking Armin by suprise.

As he leaned back again he said, “I am now.”

Armin did blush. He blushed often, especially around him, and Levi got the message that the boy had a certain affection for him. He wouldn't deny that he was also affected by the presence of the other man. The blonde had a seductive air around him, from his pink lips, his large blue eyes to his soft skin but all of that was made even more attractive by the fact that he was a man that could still dream big and purely, could still fantasize beyond the mess they lived in. He admired that.

Armin tilted his face to the right and kissed him back, a tentive hand caressed his shoulder down to his arm, smoothing out the wrinkles of his pajama. “It's still dark outside, we could go back to sleep.”

Levi's lips twisted into a half smile, “I doubt that's what either of us wants.”

He heard a soft breath escaping the blonde, almost a laugh. “So, I'm not the only one?” Relief.

For a smart kid Armin didn't catch on quick, but perhaps Levi was just really good at covering up how he felt. He knew it was the last, he had made an art out of the poker face, so much so it had become a comfortable blanket he never let slip.

“It's not just you,” he confirmed and felt that warm sensation within him again as he saw the blonde smile. He was beautiful. But beauty on it's own was something Levi had always thought to be boring. Maybe that's why he used to avoid the pretty ones and go for the rough looking people instead, the ones that wore their scars on the outside.

Armin didn't need physical scars for Levi to know he was scarred, all anyone needed to do was look into those blue eyes. No matter how big his dreams were, they couldn't hide the hurt of the past.

The blonde shifted closer to his side, their lips met in soft, tender touches, he could feel a hint of moist, and soft satin like texture broken by of couple of dry patches. One of his hands cupped the back of Armin's head, pushing their mouths to eachother firmer, the younger man parted his lips and Levi deeped it, pushing his tongue beyond the barriers of Armin's mouth.

Suddenly the world was calm around Levi. All the noise in his head became muted and he felt a peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

His hand moved from Armin's head to the hem of his pyjama top, moving underneath the cloth and feeling the surface of the blonde's skin, which was soft yet firm. Goosebumps appeared under his fingertips and he had to smile into the kiss, feeling the other man's skin react to his touch.

He let his hand go to Armin's back and pushed him into a hug, the blonde's head fell onto his shoulder while he spread butterfly kisses over his neck, the long strands of blonde hair tickled his face as he did.

They must have laughed about something because they ended up smiling, grinning even, while tighting the hug, he could feel the strong grip Armin had on the back of his top, his fists gathering the fabric, while his arms were wrapped around his upperbody. He felt wealthy in that moment, when all he had was their shared body warmth, the sweet silence and the luxury of passing time without having to act on anything.

It ended up becoming a good morning afterall.

 

                                                                                       * * *

  
Armin readied himself quickly, dressed in a knee length skirt and blouse, his hair rolled and pinned into a little bun. He looked quite boring, he thought, but since he wanted to come along with Levi to Jack's work he had to rush, they had taken a long time to get out of bed afterall.

His cheeks tingled just thinking about that, and he was sure his face looked like a tomato when his eyes met Levi's. The man looked handsome in a simple grey attire, with a dark blue coloured cap on top on his ebony hair.

“I'm ready,” Armin said, wondering if he sounded as awkward as he did in his head. How could he not even look at his captain's good looking face without grinning and blushing like a twelve year old?

“I can tell, you don't have to come,” Levi said, in an unchanging voice or attitude which made Armin wonder if he just had a really nice dream, and they didn't spend the morning making out.

But luckily he had to pick a blouse with a collar that would cover up a red spot on his neck, which was evidence enough he hadn't shamelessly dreamed about his captain, they definitely _had_ touched and kissed in real life.

“I want to, besides I'm meeting the girls at Sarah's house for a women's only midday tea thing. I'd rather be distacted before I have to go.”

Levi smirked, “you sound excited about that..”

He faked a smile, “what can be more fun than that? But I shouldn't complain... I'm sure you're not looking forward to see Rob or those other guys.”

The captain didn't answer, which was an answer on his own, instead he pulled on his coat and opened the front door. “You ready?”  
  
Armin nodded and tik tok'd his way out the door. It was a chilly morning and Armin decided to walk closely next to Levi, holding his arm with both hands and leaning into him. He had seen other couples walk like that, though he wasn't sure if his fake husband would appreciate it, but he didn't comment on it, neither did he push him away.

For a brief moment Armin wondered if he was going to miss being his wife when he got home, he had fallen into so many little habits, like adjusting Levi's tie, kissing his cheek, leaning into him and even making dinner ready for when he would come home. It confused Armin when he realised he would, it wasn't something he ever thought he'd enjoy and he didn't for the most part, but it were the small things he had started to appreciate.

“Act like you don't know anything.” Levi interupted his thoughts as they almost reached Woodstock studio.

“Play dumb as always, you don't have to tell me,” Armin said, squeezing the other man's arm in a last bit of support before they entered the work place.

Rob was there.

Levi walked towards his workspace while greeting workers who had arrived earlier, Armin followed him in line and was happy to act a little shy and docile in order not to have to talk to any of these people. Levi discarded his coat over a wooden chair and told Armin to sit on top of it so he wouldn't get his clothes dirty, but before he could he heard his fake name being called and he turned towards the greeting.

“Clara, what a wonderful suprise! It's been too long since I've seen you.” Rob said as he took hold of Armin's hand to squeeze in both of his for a good natured hand shake.

Armin smiled, though really wanted to get his hand back, “it's a pleasure to see you as always. Are you still often at Woodstock?”

“A few days a week, to visit and keep an eye out for the workers. You never know one of these men may one day aid in building our future. If I can add to their training I will, gladly.”

“It almost sounds like you're here to recruit.” Clara said politely, shifting his eyes from the floor to Rob's bearded face.

“Perhaps I am,” he said lifting an eyebrow, “you may have seen right through me.”

“Clara don't press on such things,” Levi said as Jack almost nervously, and Armin was relieved to hear his captain fall back into his role so convincingly, “I'm sorry Rob she didn't mean anything by it.”

“She only made an honest observation!” Rob said pleasantly, “and she's not far off. I do need some more workers over in my team at the invention center. People I can trust. And I know I can trust you.” The man gave Levi a pointed stare which should have no meaning to Clara, but Armin knew the man was referring to yesterday's murder.

“Jack's a very loyal man,” Clara said proudly, clueless of course of everything he already knew.

Jack smiled nervously and touched Clara's arm, “come on, you don't need to be so obvious of your intentions, Clara, dear.”  
  
Armin faked a blush and looked embarrassed while Rob laughed heartily.

“Any wife would do the same. A job at one of the government's centers would mean you could buy a house of your own in a year or two, start a family,” Rob said while winking at Armin, “so rest assured, the first opening is yours Jack.”

“It is?” The blonde could hear the suspicion in his captain's voice, he could tell Levi was brainstorming any ulterior motives the older man could have by offering him a position. Armin wondered the same.

“That's why I came by to speak with you. I could use someone like you.”

Someone to clean up his mess and shut up about it afterwards, Armin thought bitterly and knew Levi was coming to similar conclusions. It was killing his captain to play along with this, yet they were getting closer to where they had planned to be.

“Thank you, Rob,” Jack said stunned.

“No thanks needed, you earned it, lad.” Rob said as if he meant it, then focused his attention back on to the blonde, “Clara it must be your first annual check up in this town. Have you received the appointment yet? You could inquire about future children now you know you have the financial security.”

“Annual check up?” Armin asked, confused.

“You haven't got the letter yet? I'm sure you'll get it this week, my wife's appointment is next week. She always hates going to the doctor for the check up especially when it's by law and not by her own will. I think women just don't like the authority. Well, I have to go to work, Jack, I'll let you know when you can start.”

“Yes,” Jack nodded and said his goodbyes as did Clara.

Armin sat down after the man left, “what am I going to do?” He whispered to Levi, who had been handed two warm cups of coffee by a colleague, he placed one on the table where his work tools lay, and pushed the other one into the blonde's cold hands.

“Shhh, don't worry, just drink this you're cold.”

“But-”

“If we can't avoid it, we'll just have to leave early.”

“Without anything we came for? Everything would have been for nothing,” Armin said, afraid his last words were too loud so he smiled and pretended they were just quarreling. “And you're so close to getting in.”

“It won't matter, you can't go to that appointment, so we'll have until then before we leave.”

Armin took a sip of his bitter but warm drink, the wheels in his head turning to think of anything to avoid the unavoidable. They hadn't been informed about an annual doctor's appointments before they came here.

 

                                                                                   * * *

  
Leaving his fake husband to his job, Armin took a detour towards Sarah's house. The cobblestones underneath his heels have often made him feel imbalanced but he had gotten used to them, not that all streets were made of cobblestones, some were concrete others were earth but those last usually led to unwanted areas of the town. The Mare had beautiful architecture, especially the fancy houses looked like they were waiting for an artist to paint them on linnen, Armin was almost envious of how rich and how untainted Mare was by the titans.

It saddened him to think of how this could get destroyed if the war would go their way. Will they stop if the Mare would surrender? Or would they invade and take revenge on the innocent inhabitants, who lived in these cities? No matter how guilty that possibility made him feel, if the war wouldn't go their way they would be the victims instead. And that's not something Armin wanted to see either.

Them or us, why did it have to be that way?

By the time he arrived at his location the fresh air and the exercise had cleared his mind. Feeling refreshed he knocked on the door of a fine looking city house, a maid opened it and led him in to the main room. It was a large space decorated modernly with pretty furniture, the two couches had an elegant frame of wood which were carved with a pattern of small waves, while the padding was covered with turquoise fabric depicting a design of beautiful flowers. Armin liked those couches a lot, the rest of the room complemented them with similar wave patterns carved into the dressoir and a simple, yet elegant coffee table.

The room was lit by candles since the heavy blue curtains were drawn, leaving the dining part of the room in shadows but Armin could still make out the shine of the dinning table's varnish and the silhouette of the chairs. A soft tune was being played by the gramophone and Sarah was siting alone on one of the blue sofa's.

He tentatively walked in feeling as if he was intruding. The air smelled bad in the room since she was smoking, she had a strange way of looking attractive with how elegantly she held the gross smelling cigarette to her lips.

“They're not coming,” Sarah said and he was suprised she had noticed him at all. She hadn't looked away from the clouds of smoke she created.

“Why not?” He asked as he walked further into the room.

She snuffed out her cigarette in the ashtray on top of the salon table. “I uninvited them.”

He frowned, confused, as he looked at her and sat down not too far from her on the couch. “I wasn't in the mood for all those chickens.” She explained, running her hand through her wavy brown locks.

“You didn't uninvite me.”

“I thought to myself ' _Clara's alright_ ', doesn't yap as much as the rest. Although I wasn't sure if you were in the mood to meet up.”

“What would make you think that?”

She gave him an accusing stare, “you don't always seem to enoy your time with the rest of us, even though you try to pretend you do.”

“No that's not-”

“Let's not lie about it. I'm the same, I'm just better at hiding it.” She smiled, a cheeky smile at him, “apparently Danny can't stop talking about you.”

“Oh,” Armin said, looking at his folded hands on top of his lap the moment he heard Danny's name.

“And my mother in law can't stop giving me spiteful looks for introducing him to a married girl.” Sarah chuckled as if it was hilarious, “and she already doesn't like me much.”

“Well, you shouldn't have..”

That made the older woman laugh more. Though Armin could tell there wasn't much happiness to the sound of her laugh. Sarah always had an air of sadness around her but it was more present today, it made him unsure of how to respond. Should he ask her what was wrong? Or should he pretend not to notice? If it was Mikasa he would've asked, but then Mikasa was practically family, he knew her completely but Sarah was new territory.

“I've seen you watch the zeppelins,” the brown haired woman said suddenly after the mirth had left her, “you always look at them with that dreamy look of yours, as if you're trying to imagine what it's like up there.”

“I do?” Fright crept up to Armin, he hadn't realised that Sarah had been observing him, but worse than that she'd seen Armin through the cracks of Clara. It scared him to think she could pick up on his true self, even if it was just a glimpse.

She stood up with a look of determination, “let's go on one today!”

“What? No!” He said, shaken.

“Why not?” She asked, she was already stepping into her red heals, both in different places of the room.

“Well, it's expensive, and-”

She shrugged at him, “let's go. If there's one thing I do have it's money.”

Sarah didn't leave him much room to argue as she disappeared into the hallway, then reappeared throwing his coat at him, before putting on her own. She wore a red coat which looked as bold as she often behaved, it fit her, he thought.

 

                                                                                * * *

  
All the excuses and worries washed away once he had set foot into the zeppelin's cabin. He felt unstable with a high dose of fear as they left the ground and Mare became smaller, and smaller. People and buildings looked like they were from a child's playboard, with little dolls and cardboard houses. He stood in awe, transfixed on all that he could see from the sky. He smiled, not bothered by the smallness of the cabin or how he couldn't run anywhere if anyone suspected him of being anything else he was claiming to be.

“I knew you would love it,” Sarah said, standing next to him and sharing the same view as he.

“Don't you?” Armin asked.

She sighed, before answering, “I used too. Lately I don't feel like I could love anything anymore.”

For a brief moment he looked at her and felt real worry for his ' _friend_ ', “are you... alright?”

“If you look over there you can just make out the island, where the titans are.” She said, ignoring his question. “I wonder how people live over there. I heard they have really high walls and strange yet basic technology. Do you think they use titans as transportation? Maybe even use them to build their cities or to help them with farm work?”

Armin looked over at where the island was, his heartbeat quickened because of the questions but a sudden want to go home overwhelmed him as well. Using the Titans for farm work? That sounded both strange and intriguing. “I don't know. How would _I_ know such things?” He asked softly.

“Do you think they hate us? Since they probably think that they're the victims of the last war, all sides think that, right? It's the same thing when people fight, in the end everyone is convinced they're right and the other is an idiot.”

Sarah wasn't talking loudly but Armin still looked around the cabin subtly to notice if anyone was listening to her. Nobody seemed to be interested in them, which was a relieve.

“Do you think they want a war? Kill all of us?”

“Sarah?!” Armin hissed, “what's going on? Why are you even bothered with them? They can't hurt us.”

“Can't they? Even if they can't, I'm sure we can hurt them. We love hurting people.”

Armin got even more confused then, what was she getting at? Did she know Clara was a fake? Did she spot his adam's apple or was his voice too manly, and she figured it all out? Was she baiting him?

“Something's wrong, isn't it? What happened?” He had to keep playing Clara no matter what.

“A friend of mine is missing.” Sarah said, “he was fine two days ago and then suddenly some witch started accusing him of harassing her. What a lie. You know when you have this feeling, you don't know the facts but you don't need to because you know anyway. I know nobody will find him again, I know he's dead. I can feel it.”

Armin let out the breath he had been holding for too long. He watched the sky now, it was all so beautiful yet his head was a mess. Was she baiting him or was it all a coincidence? He knew the man she was talking about was dead, he knew it was the same man Levi saw getting murdered, the details of her story seemed to match what Levi had told him.

“Why do you think that?” He asked, as Clara awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder, to show some support.

Sarah's eyes were watery but she didn't look like she was about to cry, “they wanted him dead for a long time. They just waited for an excuse to get rid of him. He was Elodian. He was allowed to live on this side of Mare with his family because his brother had agreed to become one of our titan warriors. They want to help protect us but it's still not enough.”

“Oh...” An Elodian? That means the man was one of his own people, in a way. He wasn't sure if those Elodians living on this side felt the same, seeing as they wanted to fight for Mare, seeing as how much damage Reiner and the others had done to them. His grandfather was dead because of those titan warriors. No, he didn't think of them as one of his _own_ , not really, but they did share blood and history... Armin wasn't completely sure how he felt about that. “How were you friends with him?”

“We spent some time in school together. He was shy and quite adorable, I ended up really liking him and we never stopped being friends. His girlfriend's nice too, she's from Mare so they can't get married but they have this cute kid.”

A child between an Elodian man and a Mare woman? Even from the short time he had lived in Mare he knew that sort of a relationship was asking for trouble. “You really think someone hurt him?”

“Of course, people don't just disappear. An Elodian that made a name for himself and even got with a Mare woman?" She shook her head, “that's too much for us to handle.”

Armin watched the strangers around them again, he wanted to tell Sarah not to talk too loudly but knew she would purposely talk loudly if he did, and that would get her into trouble. Rich or not, you don't publicly stick up for Elodians and you especially don't talk down about the Mare.

“I understand why you didn't feel like seeing the others.”

She smiled at him, “I just don't trust myself to keep from slapping Cynthia in the face if she made a stupid comment about that 'Elodian' who has gone missing.”

But apparently she knew Clara wouldn't mind hearing about the Elodian man. It made Armin feel a little restless to know, he was being seen apart from the other women, that meant that he was sticking out in a way he didn't want to.

“What was his name?” Armin asked, staring at that far away island and wondering if he'll ever walk there again.

“Roman. Roman Smith.”

 

                                                                              * * *

  
Levi walked into his house which smelled of proper cooking, “something actually smells good here.” He said as he saw a blonde little head rushing through the kitchen from this to that place, multi tasking like a professional.

“Don't sound so suprised!” The kitchen's little chef said as he placed two plates on their small dining table.

“I did once come home to walk into a smoke filled kitchen, you were coughing and crying.”

“The smoke irritated my eyes! But at least there wasn't a fire, not a big one.”

Levi smiled and walked over to the pans, curious to see what was smelling so good. “What's this white stuff?”

“A mushroom white sauce,” Armin said proudly as he poured the water from the pan with spaghetti noodles, “that old lady who lives across the street taught me. Go sit down, it'll be done in a sec.”

The captain sat down at their table for two with an amused smile, “you're the perfect housewife..” Armin glared at him for that, but continued to serve the food. He studied the blonde as he finally sat down infront of him, “so what's the occasion for this grand meal?

“It's not a grand meal!” The blonde said as if that would be an insult, “I just wanted you to eat well. You're very skinny, that's what the old lady said.”

Levi almost choked on his first mouthfull, “don't tell me she accused you of not taking good care of me and forced you to take a cooking lesson of hers. This is actually really good though.” He took another bite happily.

“It is?” The younger man practically beamed as he tasted it himself, “it's almost the same as hers! Maybe it should have more thyme though I hardly taste it,” he said probably to himself which was quite endearing, Levi thought. “And she didn't by the way, I just asked her to show me a good recipe and she did, then she mentioned she thought my husband was skinny.”

“I'm all lean muscle, there's nothing skinny about me,” Levi said, wondering why that old lady was observing his body in the first place, “so why did you ask her for cooking advice?”

“I just told you I wanted you to eat something nice. You actually have to work here, and it doesn't seem like mild labor.”

“It isn't,” the ebony haired man took a moment to look at Armin, “something happened?”

“Yeah, I found out something. I'll tell you when you're done,” the blonde said, looking sullen about whatever it is he found out.

“Alright.” Levi responded, not wanting to ruin the blonde's dinner by demanding the information right away.

They ate in silence for a while and when they were nearly finished Armin broke the silence. “Do you ever think about the Elodians that live here, behind the gates in their camps?”

“I've wondered if we could trust some of them, or if they're all like the three traitors from the 104th training corps, out to hurt us." Levi shrugged as he twirled his spaghetti around his fork and swept it in the sauce, “but since we're not here for them I haven't thought about them much,” he said before putting the food in to his mouth.

“I was just thinking a hundred years is long but it's not centuries. It could be possible to have relatives in those camps, isn't it? Families could have split up when one part of the Elodians fled to the island with the king. There could be Ackermanns still here or Arlerts.”

Levi chewed slowly, notcing the little crease between Armin's thick eyebrows, for a moment he thought about what he said then nodded, “it's not impossible but wouldn't most families have stayed together?”

“Not the royal family, if what dr. Jaeger wrote in his journals is true then his first wife was part of the royal family that stayed behind. That could have happened to many families.”

“Are you hoping to find distant Arlerts?”

“No, maybe, but I wasn't really thinking about me but more about all of us. The us from the island and the us in the Mare camps, aren't we the same people who got split up at one point?”

“You're thinking about getting help from them to defeat the Mare?”

“No!”

Levi's eyebrows raised in suprise for a moment, “that's a very passionate 'no'.”

He watched Armin being at a loss for words, he could tell he was confused by something. He reached over and touched his hand, “I finished my food like a big boy, see? You can tell me whatever is bothering you.”

The blonde nodded slowly, his fringe casting shadows over his eyes, “okay, I'll just clean this up.”

“Armin.”

“You like things clean and neat.” Armin said as he took the plates and put them in the sink, running hot water over them.

The captain got up and touched his arm, “Armin, we can do the dishes later together, alright? Come to the living room with me,” the blonde turned his face to look over his shoulder at him and nodded.

He hadn't planned to do it, but since those pink lips looked so inviting he turned the other man around and kissed him. It was quite gross, he could taste the food in their kiss but strangely it still felt nice so it was hard to stop and pull himself away, but he did. He touched his forehead to Armin's and ran his hand over the man's side, “come.” He said again and left the kitchen, hearing soft footsteps follow.

They sat down on the love seat in the front room and Levi got more curious by the second. He figured whatever it was Armin had to tell him had to do with the Elodians who lived in Mare, seeing as the blonde had just mentioned them.

“The man you saw getting murdered,” Armin started, looking him in the eyes, “he was one of the Elodians permitted to live amongst the Mare.”

The ebony haired man sat straighter, that certainly got his attention, “how did you find out?”

“By sheer luck, I suppose. Sarah and he were friends, they went to the same school when they were younger. His big brother volunteered to become a titan soldier and he and his family got to live on this side of Mare. Officially he's gone missing but she is assuming he's dead. She's really broken up about it.”

“Did she tell you who he was?”

Armin nodded, “his name was Roman Smith.”

“Ah, that explains why you're thinking about our relatives living here. Smith is a common name.” Levi said, unsure of how he should feel about all of this.

“I know that in my head but I just can't help wondering if..”

“Don't, a man named Smith doesn't mean anything.”

“Did he look like him, maybe a little?” Armin inquired.

Levi sighed, “same hair colour I suppose, but other than that I don't know. He was gagged, bruised, I don't know. It doesn't matter either way. Any reason why Rob would hate him enough to kill him?”

“Sarah assumes that because he was getting successful, and he had a relationship with a Mare woman, he became a target for haressment. They, the people that can't stand the Elodians, wanted him gone. I guess Rob is one of those people.”

“Did he have children?”

“He had a son... named Erwin.” Armin said the boy's name as if it had the power of an explosion, carefully watching him through his lashes.

“It's a common name as well,” Levi said, annoyed all of a sudden, he stood, “I'm going to go upstairs for a bit.”

His partner stood as well, “Levi..”

The captain was halfway to the stairs as he stopped at the sound of Armin's voice and turned around, “look, tell me things straight up from now on. I know you're being considered but it makes me feel like you're babying me. I don't need that.”

Armin shook his head, frowning, “I don't..”

“You do. We're here on a mission Armin, once you find out something you report it to me, you don't get to wonder about how it will effect me.” He needed to be clear on this, lines might be blurred right now but their relationship, or whatever it was they had, could not start effecting their mission.

“Yes, sir.” Armin said and Levi detected a hint of deviance.

“Tell me things up front, directly, I'm not going to break when I'm remined of Erwin or any other tough situation.” He wondered what would make the blonde think that he would, he wasn't the type to get emotional about such things. Not on the surface at least.

“But maybe I will.” Armin whispered, and his eyes looked distracted for a moment, “maybe I need to build up time before I can mention his name. Maybe being reminded of the past breaks me inside because I'm not that strong.”

“That's.. not true, and you know that by now. I don't need to tell you that.” There was something else, and Levi could see it written on his perfect little face, he just couldn't guess what it was. Was it something to do with the Elodians? Or something else completely? He sighed again and decided not to ask, his own mind was racing and he needed to just be alone for a bit. “I'm going to take a bath.” He saw Armin nod and heard a soft okay before he climbed up the stairs.

 

                                                                                     * * *

  
Armin sat on their loveseat, pushing his back into the cushions, the high heels he wore most days weren't that high but he suspected they were the cause of his recent backaches. Still it was nicer to focus on his backaches than what was going on in inside of him.

His thoughts were going into the wrong direction, and he wasn't sure if he could stop them or explain them to Levi. He hated it when his captain was annoyed with him. Eventhough Levi was right, he should've just told him everything up front instead of distracting him with dinner, yet it felt wrong to just spring everthing on someone who had just spend the whole day carrying heavy wood and slamming hammers into things.

 _Excuses_.

“Urgh, okay!” He said to himself, then thought, 'I just wanted to be a couple for a little longer. Sharing a meal, talking about meaningless stuff without complicating things or make it all about their mission.'

Was he getting addicted to his role? Levi was right he needed to stop beating around the bush and start to focus, when he focused he could do things, he could make things happen.

The doorbell rang and he jumped up, they weren't expecting anyone. He opened the front door, and found the mail boy infront of his house.

“You need to sign for this madam!”

For a moment the 'madam' confused him, but he quickly signed the paper the boy gave him and took the letter from him. With a friendly nod he closed the door.

The letter was adressed to mrs. Clara Floral, inside he found the Mare's government seal on a paper that said he was expected to his annual female doctor's appointment the day after tomorrow in mid town. He squeezed his eyes shut, really wanting to get a break for once or just a brilliant idea to how to avoid the appointment without running away from Mare.

They couldn't go, they barely scratched the surface of what they could get to know. With Levi almost being hired into one of the government's facilities and Clara's friends trusting her enough to start talking about important stuff, it was too early.

He looked at the paper again, and read the name of the doctor J. Ire in Mharpe street 37, mid town west. Something clicked, doctor J. Ire, Dr Jason Ire? The J stood for Jason he knew because... someone mentioned him before.

It came to him clearly the moment he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, he turned towards his captain, whose wet black hair was clinging sexily to the bare skin of his face and neck, “my doctor! Rob's a friend of his. There was this lunch where Cynthia was all upset thinking she was pregnant but couldn't get a doctor's appointment but then Jessica heard, Rob's wife, and said that her husband is a friend of dr Jason Ire and he'd get her an appointment!”

Levi took the letter from his hand and lifted an eyebrow as he skimmed over the paper, “so? What's that got to do with us?”

“Rob would lend you a favor wouldn't he?”

“He can't get you out of an official appointment, all women above eighteen have to go, he's not the king of this country. He doesn't make the law, Armin.”

“That was not what I was thinking, _Levi_.” He stretched, and his captain narrowed his eyes at his cheeky tone,“I was going to suggest something far more risky and you're probably going to say no to it.”

“Maybe you shouldn't suggest it then.”

Ignoring Levi's comment he just said it out loud, “we tell Rob I'm a guy.”

The captain snorted, he sat down, crossing his legs, and leaning his wet hair against the couch, “that's a joke, right?”

Armin sat next to him, “we didn't elope because my parents thought you weren't good enough for me, we eloped because you're guy and so am I. I'm not Clara, I'm Clarke, and because we didn't think anyone would ever accept us or leave us be to just live a normal life, we decided I should pretend to be a woman, so we could have a clean start in a new town.”

There was pause in which Levi seemed to get a pang of a serious headache as he held his face in his hand. “This is going to be such a mess. Think about it seriously! There's no way Rob will just leave us be after he knows something like that, there are so many ways this could go wrong. He's already dangerous but with that information?”

“Yes, but it'll buy us time. I don't want to go home empty handed, Levi, be honest, now that you've been here do you actually think that we stand a chance against Mare? They have more people, better technology, better medical care, they could attack us from the sky! All we have is Titans and they have far more Titans than we have. If we go now there's a goos chance we'll die anyway, at least now we can try to make a difference.”

The ebony haired man sighed, “... what do you think he could do for us?”

“Make sure this doctor will play along with my secret. We can ask him tomorrow.”

“If you're sure,” Levi finally agreed but he didn't look happy about it, “I'll ask him to come by after work.”

“Okay,” Armin felt the relieve relax him, if Rob would help them they won't have to leave just yet.

“I actually came down to say sorry for before, had I known you would attack me with this mad plan I would've taken five more minutes in the bath.”

Armin smiled, scratching the back of his neck,“You don't have to apologize for anything.”

“You were being thoughtful but I'm not used to that.”

“You were right I should be more direct. Even if I find it difficult or if I'm worried about how it would effect you.”

The captain gave him a strange look, and Armin thought he might have said something weird, but then the older man reached out for him and touched his cheek. It was such a tender touch it almost made him crumble, he leaned into it never breaking eye contact.

"I was wrong." Levi said eventually, "you should be yourself. Handle things the way you see fit.”

He could hear himself swallow, the air was heavy with something he had never breathed in before, it made him feel nervous yet confident, and it made his chest feel as if a large weight was pressing into it. He steadied his hand, and took Levi's away from his cheek so he could flip it over and place a gentle kiss against his palm. He could feel the other man's surprise by the slight tremble, and the sudden quickening of his pulse. Armin himself wasn't completely aware of what he had just done, the gesture pulled from him as if someone else had controlled his body, but he felt at ease, kissing Levi was never a mistake. Not now that he was allowed to.

"T-thanks," he answered much too late.

The moment passed, and he sighed a sudden feeling of guilt rising within him when he thought about how staying longer in Mare was probably torture for Levi. “I don't hate it here as much as you do.” He admitted.

Levi was taken unawares again, looking like he had been drifting away in his own thoughts before Armin interrupted him. "What do you mean by that? You're the one having to wear heels and braided buns in your hair.”

“I don't like _that_ part exactly. Never mind me. I really just need to get out of these clothes and take a bath,” he said, giving a confused Levi an apologizing smile before heading towards the stairs.

He wasn't ready to make a full confession yet, because he still hadn't figured out what he would be confessing to. Levi told him to be himself, that meant everything to him, it gave him enough peace of mind to start figuring himself out. Why didn't he want to leave? Why did the thought of war made him want to cry.. for both sides? What was the appeal he felt towards the Elodians of Mare? Perhaps he couldn't change anything that was about to come, but figuring out those questions would make him stronger in the end, he knew it would. 


	5. Even time has a price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Armin go through with their new plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings; Sexual harassment, bullying, homophobia
> 
> A little note, when I write 'kid' or 'boy' to describe Armin it's from an older person's point of view describing he's young, but he's an adult in this fanfic.

It was during his lunch break when Levi decided to leave Woodstock in order to visit Rob at his work. He had an hour, which was plenty of time to walk his way there and back. Enough time to even stop and buy today's news paper from an old man on the street.

Roman Smith made the front page after being missing for three days. He was shoved to the right bottom corner of the page, his situation summarized in only fifty words, as if that was already too much trouble.

“Some Elodian has gone missing,” he commented to the old man, he bought his newspaper from.

“They've been talking about it for days,” the man said as he gave Levi his change, “people around town already know more than the freaking papers.” The man was missing most of his front teeth, making his voice sound almost comical.

“That so? Not me, first time I heard about the guy.”

The newspaper seller leaned closer towards Levi, he could smell the man's unpleasant breath as the man's slithering voice said, “you must be new. Roman has been the talk of the town for the last two years. Made a Mare woman pregnant, she had the kid, then he even lived with her, the rude son of a bitch.”

Levi acted surprised, “but that's against the law!”

“Nah, that's what people think but only marriage between the two would have been illegal,” another man said who went up to them to buy a paper. A dandy looking man with a nice hat. “That Roman certainly was bold.”

“I'd say disrespectful,” the old man spitted out, yet looked happy to sell another paper, then he left them to approach another group of people, shouting out the headlines through missing teeth.

“I feel for the child,” Levi said, actually meaning it.

“It shows how selfish those Elodians are. To bring a child into this world who's neither Elodian or Mare? What chance does the little one have? People are blaming the mother too, maybe now with her lover missing she has to give up the child.” The man said, searching the front page of his newly bought paper with eager blue eyes.

His heart throbbed loudly within his chest, another unwanted child destined to live a rough life... He could have prevented that from happening, could have helped the now dead man, but if the man had lived he'd only ever be running for his live. That, plus he and Armin would have been in trouble as well. He rolled the paper before gripping it too tightly into his fist.

“Where do they live?” He found himself asking, then quickly explained himself, “my wife loves children. She would want to buy the child a toy for comfort once she hears of it, she's like that.”

The man, who turned out to be a tailor, kindly gave him the directions to where the little family of the man he saw get murdered lived. And before he knew it Levi found himself at the location. The houses were of a decent middle class standard but it wasn't as lively there as in other streets. The street was cast in shadows, certainly not a sunny place, and it felt almost isolated. He realised Roman wouldn't have been able to get a house for him and his family in a better neighborhood, it probably hadn't been easy to get this house either.

The curtains were drawn of the house where the mother and her child supposedly lived, there wasn't any sign of life, so he left, finally making it to the inventors center. Unsure of why he had gone to Roman Smith's house in the first place.

Once he was at the center he approached a soldier infront of the building, and the man went to get a dirty looking boy who in turn went inside the building to get Rob. You couldn't go inside without authorization, that's how much they protected all the projects inside, nobody was suppose to know what they were working on but now thanks to Rob he would soon gain that knowledge. Maybe that's why he let Armin convince him to go along with his reckless plan. He was too close to give up...

“I'm sorry to interrupt when you're at work,” he apologized immediately when he saw Rob, “it's just.. me and Clara we're in a tight spot. We need your help.”

As soon as he said the words he could feel a grave regret somewhere deep in his gut. Would this be worth getting inside of the building for? This was the man who ripped a father away from his family, a family who needed a protector more than anything. And they were going to reveal a part of their identity to the same man.

Armin's identity.

Rob smiled, truly looking like a harmless, middle aged man, with his bearded face and his superficial charm, nobody would guess he wasn't a good guy. Rob seemed happy to help a friend, because Jack was now one of his trusted friends, and eagerly arranged to meet him after work. The blonde would be waiting for him to bring Rob home.

                                                                                     ***

Levi took his keys out of his pocket, standing before his Mare house and thinking it could soon become a battle inside. Either Rob would help them or he wouldn't, in the last case the man would be dead before he could ever walk out of their small house again. Of course the man could lie and promise to help only to send the authorities their way, but Levi knew Rob was the type to threaten someone in their face, loving to see the expressions of worry and fear. Sneaking around was too subtle for him, and not enjoyable enough.

The key slid inside the hole of the red front door, he turned it then stepped inside. Rob was behind him, making conversation he hadn't paid attention too.

“I told the man to stay home if he couldn't handle a simple cold,” the older man said, “I got workers who would kill for his job! So, Jack, next week?”

“Next week?” He questioned, looking over his shoulder up at the man.

Rob got out off his heavy brown jacket, despite being a wealthy man his jacket was worn and had patches of dirt on it, he always did scorn the well dressed for having too much time to waste on their appearances, “you can start as an assistant. Part time at first, so you won't have to leave Woodstock until you get a permanent position.” He explained.

“That would be nice, thank you.” The response felt absentminded and automatic, even to himself

“Now, you know I take care of my friends. Whatever this thing is that's troubling you and Carla just let me know. If I can, I'll help.”

Levi hoped that was true.

Noticing their arrival Armin came to greet them, walking out from the kitchen with tea and biscuits on a tray. He wore his hair down, a lock of hair was tucked behind his right ear, and the blonde was dressed in a pastel blue sweater with a matching pencil skirt. Levi caught himself staring at his ass when the blonde man placed the tray on the salon table, wondering how he had squeezed himself into that skirt on his own.

After arranging their drinks neatly on the table Armin sat down, collecting himself before looking at Rob, a determined look on his face. “It's about my doctor's appointment. There's no way I can avoid it is there?”

“No of course not. Who's your doctor?” Rob asked as he helped himself to a biscuit.

“It's doctor Jason Irke.”

“Ah, yeah, he and I go way back. Is that why you thought I could help you get out of it?” He asked as the biscuit dissapeared into his mouth, leaving a few crumbs in his beard.

“Actually, we didn't think that you could,” Levi took over, teacup delicately held in between long fingers, “but if you choose to you can help us avoid jail.” He took a sip of his brew, figuring the mention of jail would get the man's attention.

Rob lifted an eyebrow, intrigued as predicted, “I can't promise anything but please tell.”

“We've been lying since we got here, we broke the law,” Armin said his hands folded neatly on his lap.

“Lying about something illegal a doctor can find out... no, I can't guess what it could be,” the older man said, looking more and more entertained.

“My name is not Clara, it's... Clarke, the reason we had to elope.. it's because we're both men,” Armin told their fake love story in as few words as he was able to manage, Levi had instructed him not to get trapped in details. The boy's cheeks were reddening, and Levi assumed it was because of the looks he got from the older man after he had revealed his gender. He was clearly feeling uncomfortable.

Once he was finished Rob bursted out in laughter, “no, this must be a joke! There's no way you're a man.”

“He is,” Levi said shortly, not amused.

“No, no, you would elope with a _guy_? What's the point? Aren't there enough women in Mare?” There was mirth in his voice as he rubbed his hairy chin, “there's no way this is going to end well. And the two of you didn't plan it out, did you? You didn't even think about the annual check up's? So, now you want me to convince Jason to not notice the extra appendage?”

Armin bowed his head down, looking at his hands and Levi could tell he was embarrassed. His jaw tightened, knowing there was nothing he could do the help his partner in this situation.

“Would you?” Levi asked, wanting Rob to focus his attention on him.

Rob looked at Levi as if he'd never seen a bigger fool. “You're idiots, but I'd do it for you Jack. However on one condition.”

“And what's that?” The black haired captain asked, not surprised he would make a request of some sort.

The grey going man focused his attention on Armin again, ”Clara... I still can't believe you're not a woman. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself, so I'll need proof you're not in fact... a woman.”

“My birth certificate is altered, we paid someone to forge it. I don't know how else to proof it.” Armin said, unsure.

Rob shook his head, “that alone could get you a very, _long_ prison sentence.”

Levi could almost feel the threat in his words but before he could respond Rob had already proposed something insane. “You'll have to take your clothes off then.”

“I..,” Armin looked shocked, he blinked as if he wasn't sure he had heard it right. “What?”

“Let's go upstairs to the bedroom.” The man said as he got up from the couch.

“ _What_?” Levi got up as well.

“Don't worry I won't touch him, if he's a guy, I can't promise that if he's a woman.” Rob laughed at Levi's furious expression, “damm Jack that was a joke. Come, Clarke, is it? Let's go up stairs.”

“I don't think so, no.” The black haired man said, “I asked you for help because you told me I could trust you.”

“And you can! But I'm not going to put my neck out for you, about something I find really hard to belief.” He gestured with one hand towards Armin. “She looks like a woman, talks like one, moves like one. I need to see with my own two eyes she isn't one.”

Armin rose slowly, he looked like he wasn't breathing, he glanced at him for a second, his eyes secretly pleading for help but his lips mouthed ' _don't_ ', as if he knew Levi's back up plan for when things went wrong was to kill Rob. When he saw Levi wasn't going to do anything he started walking towards their bedroom.

 _Armin_ , he wanted to say but choked, “Clarke.”

“It's fine,” the blonde said without looking back at him, the last he saw were white, heeled shoes as they dissapeared step by step up the stairs.

“Stay.” Rob told Jack, “I won't be long.”

Levi attempted to walk after them but instead he forced himself to sit back down. Everything in him told him to follow Rob and throw him off the flight of stairs, hoping he'd break his neck. But then the voice of sanity spoke, and told him they got exactly what they wanted, the asshole was going to help them, give them more time.

So, why did the thought of Armin taking his clothes off infront of that ass anger him? It's not like his life was in danger. Rob had no reason to kill or hurt him. 

 _It's only a small price to pay for more time_ , he reasoned with himself, _it's not as if I love the kid, and even if I did it wouldn't_ _matter_.

With a quick silent motion Levi got up, lifted his leg and kicked at the salon table. The teacups went crashing down, the tray flip flopped through the air and the table broke into two even pieces, wood splinters sticking out of the edges. A temporary relieve filled him.

                                                                                    ***

He took his knitted top off once he got into the bedroom, Rob was somewhere behind him, he tried to block the man out as he popped the buttons of his blouse which he had worn underneath the baby blue sweater. The man was silent, but not long enough for Armin to imagine he wasn't there.

As he slipped off the blouse, revealing the straps of his white lingerie, Rob made himself heard, “so what's hidden in that little bra of yours?”

His voice made him shiver, but he tried to pretend he wasn't affected, “scarfs.” They were cashmere, incredibly soft to the touch to not irritate his skin, they were folded until they resembled two soft lumps which looked like small breasts. Since he never wore anything see through or too revealing the shape shown through his clothing was realistic enough.

“Scarfs?” The man scoffed, as if he hadn't been fooled by them himself

The blonde reached behind him to unlock his bra when Rob came into his vision, he held out his hand and Armin gave him the lingerie with the scarfs loosely sewn inside. The man's eyes were incredibly wide as he looked at his chest before examining the piece of underclothing in his hand.

“You do know,” the man said as he looked back again at his naked chest, “you look ridiculous.” He started laughing and the sound of that laughter had Armin's blood running cold. It was hard to describe how he was feeling but it started with shame then shifted into something painfully unrecognizable, whatever it was it made him want to hide himself and curl up in a safe corner away from unwanted eyes.

Without realising he had crossed his arms infront of his chest, looking at the floor, but the other man took his wrist and pulled one arm away. “It's a little too late to start hiding your body now,” he eyed his skirt then reached for the side with the zipper but Armin jumped back.

“You know I'm a man now.” Was he seriously going to make him take off everything?

“You're not a man, a man doesn't dress himself in pretty dresses. I don't know what you are, but now I'm curious. Take it off.”

The words hurt even if they were from a person whose opinions didn't matter to him. Still, he took a deep breath then quickly, while numbing his mind, he unzipped the side zipper and pulled his skirt and pantyhose down, stepping out of them leaving only his underwear on.

The man looked puzzled, but before he could say anything demeaning Armin explained, “the underpants are designed to make me look like a woman.”

He shook his head, “you sure put a lot of effort into your disguise. All of that for Jack?”

“I love him,” he said, playing his role or maybe the curtain had dropped and he wasn't playing anymore, he was just him in all his vulnerability. He stuck his thumbs behind the band of the last garment he had on then slipped it off down his legs, he knew Rob was waiting for him to do so afteral. He had turned his face to the side, not wanting to look at the other man watching him, his eyes burned but he kept himself from crying, not infront of him.

Rob was silent again, eerily so, and Armin wondered if he would leave as quietly as he had come in. The bearded man started walking, moved passed him and Armin was almost relieved until he felt those large, calloused hands curved around his shoulders. He gasped in fear and tried to pull away but the man wouldn't let him, holding him firmly, suddenly he could feel the man's breath against his ear, “don't look too awful from this side though. Hmm, I could probably...”

“Don't!” The blonde forced his body forward again and this time the man let him go, making him slip and fall onto his knees. He could hear Rob's silent laughter, as he finally left. He left him shivering, naked and finally crying.

                                                                                  ***

Levi sat on the bottom of the stairs. He had closed his eyes and calmly waited, waited too long before he heard the first creak of wooden boards above his head. He saw Rob's ugly greyish brown shoes before he saw the man, and had to constrain himself.

“Got your proof?” He spitted out.

Rob actually dared to look suprised at his hostility, but then he smiled as if they were still good friends, “I have to say I was quite surprised. I almost don't blame you for picking him, he's quite enamouring.. from waist to top, that is. To each his own I suppose, but I hope you realize he's not going to look so cute forever, when his hairline starts reclining, and when his face has lost it's roundness. How are you going to get it up then? Or does he get it up for you... I don't know how it goes.”

“You're disgusting,” Levi said, not playing nice anymore.

“I was going to say the same thing about the two of you but I wanted to stay polite.” Rob said, disappointed look across his face, “and I'm doing you a favor here... I hope you won't forget that.” He said, starting to make his way towards the exit.

Levi followed him, “don't worry, I'm not quick to forget _anything_.”

Rob turned to look down at him and their eyes locked in some sort of challenge, untill the older man smirked and gave him a single word warning, “careful”. He pulled on his jacket then left.

Levi threw the front door shut after the man, then hurried upstairs. “Armin?” He inquired, having run his way up into the bedroom.

“Would you mind if I borrowed one of your pajamas again? I'm really not in the mood to wear any of those nightgowns.”

He watched the blonde, covered up in a blanket, looking into their old wooden closet, the kind that creaked when you opened or closed it. He had his back towards him but Levi could tell he was naked underneath the covering he had wrapped around his shoulders, his calves unclothed, his feet bare.

“Are you okay?” Levi wasn't able to see his face even when he came closer, as the blonde conveniently tilted his head away from him.

“I'm fine. Can I?”

“Yeah, it's fine.” Levi observed him, “what did he do?”

“What he said he would do... take a look.” He could hardly hear the last words, they were spoken so softly.

“That's all he did? He didn't touch you?”

“No,” Armin looked small and fragile, he could tell even if the young man was avoiding his gaze, “he just wanted to humiliate me, make himself feel powerful. He told me I looked ridiculous and that I'm not a real man. He laughed.. at me.”

Rob really was the worst type of scum. “He's the one who's not a real man. Armin I'm-”

“It's my own fault, not yours. You warned me, I got no one to blame but myself.” His pale hand went to his cheeks, and Levi only noticed the tears when he saw him wiping them away.

He felt his insides turn at the sight. He failed to protect him, he should have never let that happen, but he had, whatever choices he could have made to prevent it, he hadn't made.

Levi sighed long and deeply, “You couldn't have known. Armin-”

The blonde turned to him then, his face upset and wet, “I just want to forget about it, let's just forget that happened!”

 _But it did_ , he wanted to say, instead he just nodded, “okay.”

“I'm going to wash up, I took the black one,” the black silky pyjama in one of his hands, the other holding the blanket together, “thank you.”

He felt the urge to grab Armin and press him against himself, so he could hold him, shield him from the cold air around them, but he resisted it. That would mean their relationship went beyond physical, it wasn't even that physical. Truthfully, he didn't need a _boyfriend_ in his life, did he? The complications, the fear of losing him, no, it was better to stop their intimacy rather than further it more. He had already gotten too upset and unable to control himself infront of Rob.

So, he let Armin walk away instead, alone with his misery. 


	6. Giving in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings; sexual harassment, bullying 
> 
> \- Story hiatus -  
> I'm sorry to say this will be the last chapter for a while. I plan to finish writing this fanfic but for now I'm too busy to give this story my proper attention. I'm really enjoying how this is turning out so I don't want to start rushing chapters, instead I want to take my time. For those who are reading this I hope you understand!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Tense was the atmosphere in their house. Levi, silently, ate only a few crumbs of bread while he blamed himself. Not vocally, he didn't need to since it was written clearly on his face which made Armin feel even worse.

There was nothing the black haired man could've done. He had even warned him about Rob but Armin had wanted to stay longer in Mare. So, it happened, and it was nothing really, Armin thought. The man hadn't laid a finger on him, except for when he wanted to scare him, but mostly he just watched, stared... while denying it had been nothing to himself, remembering those moments brought tears to his eyes and made it hard to chew his food, so he pushed the recent memories away.

“Do you want me to come with you?” The silence broke by Levi's voice.

“No. There's no need.” He'd much rather go to Dr Ire himself, in case he wanted to humilate him like Rob had done. It was something he could handle but not with Levi around to witness it. Besides he didn't think the black haired man would be able to let that happen again, he would knock the person out who tried, he was convinced of that. His captain was reaching his limit of being passive Jack, the broken table and teacups had proven that.

“Rob could've lied. The doctor could have no clue that you're a guy. I'm sure he would find that amusing.”

“I don't think so,” Armin stood from his place at the kitchen table, and tried his best to show a confident smile, “you don't have to worry about me. It's going to be okay.”

The captain nodded, ”I was thinking last night; two weeks. Two weeks before we leave Mare and go back home.”

Armin swallowed and looked down to a board on the floor. He didn't want to, he still didn't want to, but he realised, by the look on Levi's face, there was no room for arguing. “Okay,” he answered soflty before leaving the table and departing for his doctor's appointment.

                                                                             ***

He was there. He was there standing in the corner of the doctor's office taunting him with a smile that made his stomach turn.

“Since this is the female check up, you should give him the exact same examination.” Rob said pleasantly as if they were discussing whether to have biscuits or scones for tea.

“Very well, but since this is my office that's the only request I will take.” The doctor said, his jaw clenched and his voice cold.

Armin had noticed right away that these two men weren't friends at all. He wondered if Rob had threatened the doctor or if he was blackmailing him, whatever it was he was pulling the strings and doctor Jason Ire seemed to have no choice but to be an obedient puppet. The doctor, however didn't obey with a smile. Every inch of the man's tall lanky body screamed of how much he wanted to kick Rob out of his practice.

“Please, remove your underwear and sit down on top of the examination table.” The doctor's cold and stiff voice sounded again this time directed towards Armin.

He obeyed by taking off the undergarment from underneath his skirt, however much he hated the fact he had to undress again after what happened yesterday. Again, he tried to ignore Rob's eyes on him but the middle aged tyrant just had to make it impossible for him to numb his mind when he opened his mouth, “he's got some interesting undewear. Flattens everything out, right, Clarke?”

Armin could feel the heat rise up to his face, he pressed his lips together, and felt so painfully embarrassed he just wanted to run away. He could feel his shoulders shake as he lifted himself on to the table, and kept his head looking down.

“How old are you really?” Dr Ire asked, and the blonde could hear traces of sympathy in his voice this time. He must look pathetic, Armin realised. “You're just a kid.”

“I'm eighteen.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes as if he didn't believe it, but then proceeded to put his white gloves on without a comment. The man was as rigid as a broom and as charasmatic as a shiny, cold butter knife. “This flattening, does it hurt?”

“A little.”

The man shook his head. “Is your marriage really worth all this trouble, to even be hurting yourself?”

Armin decided not to answer but followed the doctor's directions to move his legs on the table and lay down. Doctor Jason then covered his lower body with a white large towel, making sure the other person in the room didn't get to have a peak.

“Part your legs, please.”

He could feel his hearbeat quickening, but lifted his knees and spread his legs. For a moment he felt terrified, suddenly realising how vulnerable he was laying on this table, with at least one enemy in the room. He spared a look at Rob, wishing he hadn't, the man was enjoying the show, judging from how intently he was watching them. At one point he was intently licking his lips, he looked away, feeling oddly violated.

Still his fear left him when doctor Ire stayed calm and professional. “I don't know if there are health risks to flattening the groin, but everything looks perfectly well for now. You've been wearing it for six months?”

“Yeah.” The blonde said, wondering how Rob had talked about him when informing the doctor about his situation. Probably in such a mocking way.

“I don't think it will have a positive effect on your fertility if you keep using this daily, in case you do wish for children of your own one day.”

Rob laughed, “I doubt he'll need his swimmers in that marriage.”

“We'll monitor it,” the doctor continued, looking earnest, “I like to ask you to come in for check ups regularly. If I have similar patients in the future I might be able to assist them better as well. You wouldn't mind, would you?”

“No.”

Yes, Armin thought but in two weeks he'd be gone, so he might as well agree.

After checking his pulse and listening to his heart Jason went to sit at his desk to write down his notes. Armin took that as a permission to dress again, he butttoned up his shirt which he had been asked to remove for the last half of the examination, but when he moved to place his underpants back on, he heard the fear inticing tremor of Rob's voice.

“Why don't you leave it off? It's not healthy the doctor said, maybe you need to examine the garment, Jason?” The middle aged man asked as he walked to where Armin stood.

“I doubt that would be necessary.” The doctor answered, annoyance clear in his voice.

“Well, I still think your body needs a rest today. Why don't you go home without it?” Rob continued, and before the blonde could react he had already taken the intimate piece of clothing away from him.

Armin felt red, and panicked, “give it back!”

“Instead of demanding things,” the older man said as he gently took Armin's chin in his hand, “shouldn't you thank me for this huge favor I've done for you today, Clara?” His voice was sweet like syrup, but each tone disgusted Armin.

He suddenly realized he was being bullied again, but in a way the boys back home had never bullied him, this was personal and intimate. Rob wanted to make him squirm, make him feel ridiculed yet also wanted him to be depended on him now that he knew his secret. He had gotten trapped in a sick game. Armin despised himself in that moment, thinking of how he had thought to be so clever to ask the murderer to help them.

“Thank you,” he said the words but didn't mean them.

“Good girl,” the man grinned, his bearded skin stretching as he bared his teeth, but his hand was still on Armin's face, his thumb sticking into his cheek, pushing into the flesh as he dragged his thumb down to his lips, over them, then in between them.

A loud bang was heard in the practise, as the doctor slammed his paper files on to the desk, “for goodness sake, Robert. He's barely eighteen. Let the child go.” Armin could hear real anger in his voice, it was the first time he heard someone talk like that to Rob. Not even the man's wife would when he disrespected her in front of others. He didn't think Rob would listen though, but he did, he let him go to his relief.

As soon as Rob had lowered his hand, he rushed passed him, grabbed his coat and left the office without even saying goodbye to the doctor, who he was sure had saved him from something bad.

Outside he felt bare and exposed, he feared that people could tell he wasn't a woman without his underwear to tuck away everything that could betray him. His skirt was loose and frilly, but that didn't change how he felt. What if the wind blew his skirt's fabric against him and outlined his body? Or what if somebody bumped into him? After hastily walking away from the doctor's office he decided to stop at an alleyway for a minute to catch his breath, away from prying eyes. There he spit at the ground, and again, not wanting to taste of that man's vile thumb in his mouth.

Two weeks, and he would be gone. Rob ruined everything, but Rob wasn't Mare. He didn't want the man to poison his new found feelings for Mare, for the beautiful streets and the buildings, and even for the people who lived here. The kind neighbors, or Sarah, or the handsome, red haired Danny, they weren't him.

He wasn't Mare.

                                                                              ***

Armin finally felt at ease now that he was back home, surrounded by the familiar and safe environment, the tension that had build up quietly left his body the minute he had stepped inside. However he still felt upset, he still felt unwell.

It was warm inside, so Levi must be home if the hearth was on.

He walked to the living room, and saw his pretend husband sitting in a chair farthest away from the hearth. He had turned it on for Armin, the blonde knew Levi didn't like too much heat and would probably prefer to sit in a colder temperature. In contradiction to Armin who found the warmth comforting.

Levi had his hands folded together, with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his folded hands. His eyes were closed, and Armin found himself struck by how handsome his captain was, with his thick black eyelashes almost touching his pale cheeks, his skin looked pale and bright in contrast to those lashes and the locks of his shiny black hair that fell across his face. He looked peaceful, in deep thought, but the blonde could see the lines between his eyebrows suggesting a turmoil underneath the illusion of peacefulness.

“Armin?”

He had opened his beautiful eyes, and was staring at him with large dark orbs. The suggested turmoil growing and multiplying within seconds.

“Armin!”

Levi stood from his chair and rushed towards him, but he couldn't say anything or answer the questionable look he was getting. His lips were pressed together, scared that if he would only move an inch he would break apart for his whole body felt fragile and waiting to crack.

He didn't move but strong hands pushed him forward, collapsing him into the other's body, who was about as tall as he was; short, but powerfully short. His own body moved on it's own, he never told his arms to wrap around the warm torso infront of him or to bury his head in the nape of the other man's neck. Or to start crying and falling part.

“What happened? Are you hurt? What did he do to you?”

It was strange how the truth was that nobody did much of anything to him yet he had never felt as abused or as violated as he did when Rob's voice was thundering through that office, or when his fingers were touching his face, or when he looked at him with clear arousal in his eyes.

He felt digusting.

Especially when he thought about how his underwear was still in that office with Rob.

                                                                                ***

“We don't have two weeks. We need to get away sooner.” The captain said, after Armin had told him about Rob's presence at the doctor's appointment. They were going to leave soon, there wasn't any room for argument and he hoped his voice made that clear.

Armin didn't look at him as he answered, he was sitting in the chair nearest to the fireplace, his gaze looking at the spiky waves of heat. “Fine, one week then.”

He frowned at the younger man, but the other explained himself quickly.

“It's Bonn fire holiday in eight days. There's going to be a festival, and there are rumors about people going to protest against the government at city hall, it's going to be chaos. When better to leave then when the military is going to be occupied with drunken festival goers and angry demonstrators?”

“Alright,” Levi had to agree that made sense.

“Danny promised to show me around at his work place, I'll try and get him to go in a few days, and you can go spend some time at your new job.” Armin suggested, his voice stripped of any emotion. Levi thought he must have spent it all, after the rivers of tears and the shaking limbs.

If they had to spend another week in Mare they might as well get what they can. Despite making the decision to leave, it didn't sit well with Levi to go back empty handed. That didn't mean he was going to look forward to seeing Rob, let alone having him as a supervisor.

“Do you agree?”

“I do.” He answered.

There was another tense silence, in which both of them were consumed by their own thoughts. Armin interrupted the mood by speaking first, “I'm sorry I made everything more difficult.”

Levi sighed then patted the space beside him, “come here.” The blonde did, tentatively sitting next to him but keeping a little distance between them.

He reached out anyway and covered one of the blonde's hands with his own, “can I touch you?” He asked, the decision to stop their growing bond had dispersed, if only momentarily, when he had seen the blonde scarily pale and seemingly paralyzed after he had come back from the doctor's appointment.

“Yes,” Armin answered without hesitation.

He squeezed the hand gently, “neither of us knew about the anual check ups. Nothing that happened because of that is your fault.”

“You warned me.”

“Beating yourself up about it is not going to help anyone. You saw a way to stay longer and it worked. Just.. let me know if you're alright.”

“I'm fine now. He's just a big bully.”

He was more than a bully, he was a murderer who got away with it, “well, if he tries something again you've got my permission to kill him.” If was more of a jibe, not at all wanting Armin to be in that position, but at least it brought a smile to the blonde's face, “I promise.”

“Good,” his hand lifted towards the blonde's hair, his fingers stroking through the soft locks, “but better than that just stay away from him.”

“With pleasure,” Armin sighed and scooted over to him to lean into his body, resting his head on to his captain's shoulder. A tickling warmth went through Levi as he protectively placed his arm around Armin. Giving in.


End file.
